My 75 yr old mom who has dementia has jealous issues, Mom in law 93 fell and broke her Femur in 2 places emergency bone surgery in hospital ER and room for 20 hrs with her, My mom called repeatedly and left messages on phone at house, 67 times in one day, I did call her and tell what happened to mom in law she didnt understand, I called on her Health care aide to come over for a few hours to help.
Frustration I am mom's caregiver, now I am in the midst of caregiving for my mom in law also. l How can i assist my mom in that i love her just dont have all the time as before to spend with her. This is why I had her health care worker come over for 2 hrs.
I think having Mom's health aid work extra hours was very smart.
It is very important that you have another family member help with MIL now.. You have enough on your plate dealing with your Mom, let others take over for MIL..
Taking care of your Mom is a full time job..
Mom was 93 and bedbound and MIL was 84 and jealous when I would be staying at my moms caring for her.
In hindsight what I should have done was to insist that other family members step up to the plate and care for her. I did not do this and suffered for it. please take my advice. Set your boundaries now. Let all family members know what you are able to do and what you are not able to do. Make sure you are very clear. Do not beat around the bush.
Where is your husband in all this?
You did the best you could. You're NOT superwoman. You will have your own health problems if you continue to try to take care of both.
One or the other needs to go into and/or have full time caregiving. And it shouldn't be you.
I hope she dosnt say anything at the house warming oh god im so scared maybe i should leave her at home but she may climb over the wall.
It's just that there is no way on earth of explaining to your mother why you can't be there for her so she is bound to get scared and upset. If your MIL is lucid and can understand the situation, then gradually delegate her care to someone else instead if that's possible. It's a matter of who needs you more, when there is only one of you and you cannot be everywhere. Best of luck.
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