My mother's dementia is worsening and I can't get her to a neurologist. I can't get any help for her unless she sees a neurologist. I can't get her in my car at all, not even for an ice cream. She knows something is wrong and she's afraid. I can't get an ambulance out here to take her to the hospital unless she's sick or injured. She's refusing any help. I'm so scared for her, what do I do?
Show the doctors you have seen, they may be willing to prescribe a small amount something like ativan to calm her down and get her to agree to get in the car and go to the neurologist.
Either way, since you don't have a health POA, you are most likely going to have to get a conservatorship. An eldercare attorney is the only way to go - make sure s/he is NAELA certified.
My mother used to leave the burners on the stove on, hide her purse and keys and forget where she put them. She often woke up at night and wandered around looking for people. Those were the early signs of dementia. Her primary doctor determined that she had dementia and wrote a letter stating that fact.
As far as her hiding things and lying my husband and I thought my MIL was doing the same thing. But we read a book called "Speaking Dementia" by
Frena Gray-Davidson which explained Mom was not lying but really couldn't remember doing things as her mental capactiy dwindled. The book helped us tremendously to understand what was going on in her head and gave us suggestions on how to communicate/deal with her.
Burning things on the stove and wandering are major red flags. You may have to get guardianship of her (go to court and have her declared incapacitated - she can no longer safely take care of herself) to protect her. From what you described I don't think you would have a problem getting guardianship. We did it and are very glad we did. It is a process but it is worth it to keep her safe. Best of luck
Symptoms: Agitation, forgetful, mood swings, wandering at night on occasion (this just started), hearing voices, thinks people visit her, burning stuff on the stove, doesn't remember my name occasionally, threating to drive, wants to go home, hides things and then accuses me of hiding it, obsessively lies to hide mistakes, etc.
I am her DPOA and have been paying her bills for awhile, but don't have medical or guardianship. I have been to attorneys, Doctors, talked to the police, and dementia support groups. I am told there is nothing I can do until she gets sick or hurt. One attorney told me if she gets hurt, I could get in trouble!
Maybe you can trick her into car..go outside for a ride but you did say you can't get her in car for an ice cream. The dementia won't let you reason ..you'll just have to say something like come on mom..we need to go out for a bit... Then get there and then inside..she asks..say something like we are gonna gets up some help.
My mom is fearful of everything..but she doesn't have dementia..daddy did but he was ok with everything we did...as he got worse.. I would just get him ready and if he asked then I would tell him..I had it easy with him.
Mom wants to hear everything from doctor..even if doctor tells me and I tell her..
Is there a friend of hers that can help? Maybe to encourage her to get in car and go see doctor? Wish I had answers for you. Prayers
How serious are the dementia symptoms now? Does your mother have anyone living with her to make sure she is safe? Please tell us a bit more and someone may have some good suggestions for you.
I'm sorry this is happening to her..