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My mother-in-law is schizophrenic and has bipolar disorder. It’s been hell living with her the past couple months, she only gave us the house because she plans on moving back to her home country, hopefully this year. The deed is signed and everything, but is there any way we can legally remove her from our house? The lawyer who made the deed for us was saying he’d protect her if we tried to “kick her out.” What exactly can he even do? She’s stated that she has no respect for us, and she’s constantly demanding things and talking down on us. I’m tired of it and just want her gone, she’s so ungrateful for everything we do for her.

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Headline .... "mentally ill woman deeds home to child for free, no strings attached".

If you believe that then you are incredibly naive, and if your husband chose to believe that then he is either deep in denial about his mother's mental health or he knew full well what he was doing and saw this as a vindictive opportunity for payback. Move back out on your own, you must have been managing that way before this "gift".
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BurntCaregiver Jul 2023
@cwillie

Preach, my friend. It sounds like a real grift to me too. I don't think the OP is incredibly naive, no.
There was a deal made.

A free house in exchange for a free home in it with caregiving.

Now the OP and her husband want to renege on that deal.

Give the house back then and buy your own. Like I said in a previous comment, I had two MIL's. Neither of them gave me a free house.
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This is one of those situations where you are best seeking legal advice from a professional. We do not have enough information, and the information you have provided does not come off as a good look tbh.

From the outside looking in it seems like you are the ones taking advantage of your MIL, and that is not fair to you but without all the facts and details that is how this looks. Random people on the internet do not need that level of information but to give advice that is the level of info people will need. So better off seeking a lawyer.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
It’s clear from the lawyer that:
he’ll protect her right to stay in the house.

So OP has already consulted that lawyer. Now OP was just hoping to find a way to go against that lawyer.
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Many issues here,

1. "My mother-in-law is schizophrenic and has bipolar disorder".
2. Selling or changing ownership of property is a major financial decision.
3. Being able to understand an issue, weigh up the options & communicate the decision are needed.
4. Sz can effect processing, planning & judgement (executive functioning).
5. Signing over a house deed but not wanting to leave would raise converns the person may not have understood the agreement.

I hope this woman has an advocate to ensure her rights are proteced.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
“5. Signing over a house deed but not wanting to leave would raise converns the person may not have understood the agreement.”

OR she understood the agreement very well:
She has a RIGHT to stay there as long as she wants. That means OP is a guest.

As OP said:
“The lawyer who made the deed for us was saying he’d protect her if we tried to “kick her out.””

IN OTHER WORDS, MIL has a right to live there as long as she wants.
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Why did your MIIL deed the house over to you and her child? What was given to her in exchange for the house?

From the limited info you gave so far, MIL gave you and your spouse her home, and you immediately want to kick the sick old woman out to the curb. Seems cruel, ungrateful,and immoral. Her lawyer even thinks that is legally wrong. So what's missing from your story?
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ventingisback Jul 2023
THAT is exactly the same impression I get. In fact, MIL might feel OP is the ungrateful one, and very mean to try to kick her out.
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OP this isn’t sounding good:

It’s impossible that you took good care of her AND you don’t know if she has a therapist or a psychiatrist.

By the way, a therapist CAN’T prescribe PB/schiz meds. By the way, the dosage must be constantly monitored (must see psychiatrist often). That means you and DH never took her to her paychiatrust? Never made sure the dosage is OK?

Also now you say, you don’t know whether it’s the meds that aren’t working, or she’s just mean: in other words, you HAVE NO IDEA if she’s lucid/OK, and you HAVE NO IDEA if she was lucid/OK to sign.

Also, why do you need to move? The house is in your name, you say? That sounds very much like you tricked her. Even when an elderly person gives a house, they often have a RIGHT to live there for life! That means THEY live there, not you. That means so long as they’re alive, YOU ARE THE GUEST.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
Also originally she considered leaving to her country by the end of the year. It’s July. Now you’re trying to kick her out within a month.

If she has a right to live there, YOU ARE ONLY A GUEST.
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You move out into an apartment until she leaves.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
Totally agree. It’s the morally right thing to do, and the legally right thing to do.

But OP is trying to kick MIL out so OP can stay.
:(
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You need to cut your losses and leave. I lived across the street from a paranoid schizophrenic for many years. We had to involve the police all the time to keep her out of our house once her husband left her. This is such a difficult and serious disease and it only gets worse since many do not take the meds they are prescribed and turn on those who are trying to help them. You won’t win this battle. You need to talk to her lawyer and tell him you want out. Give the house back. Just because she has this disease doesn’t mean she won’t live a long time. Sounds cold hearted but if you stay in a toxic situation you will never be happy. Start your own life and don’t rely on her house as being yours. It’s not worth it.

I should say that the right thing to do is to go to the doctor’s with her and discuss medication that she needs. If she won’t agree to let you be part of her medical planning then this is when I would leave it all behind. There are no more insane asylums and for good reason, but what happens to these people is anyone’s guess. Someone will take advantage of her if you can’t help her maintain mental health, but you have to keep your own sanity too. God bless you.
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It might even look like you kind of tricked her into deeding it to you. But let’s say, it was a fully conscious decision, then it’s not good you’re trying to kick her out (you said you haven’t told her; but you’re clearly secretly discussing it with DH and with us: “how can you kick her out?”).

OP, let her live in her house (until recently it was hers). And you and DH move out. I think you shouldn’t accept the gifted house and then kick her out.

If she changed her mind about flying to her country, that’s fine. She has every right to change her mind.

If you says strange things, then she’s not lucid: she needs medical help then. You said her meds don’t really help: that means you feel she’s not 100% lucid. I hope when she deeded the house, she was 100% lucid, otherwise it was a crime to accept her house.

There are many stories of manic people (bipolar) who suddenly gave their house away (but that’s because they weren’t thinking straight; they were having a manic episode).
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mdgn01 Jul 2023
Didn’t trick her. She willingly went and talked to the lawyer, it was her lawyer she paid for herself, they went over everything with her. She even has a therapist she sees and the therapist said she should give us the house since she’s gonna be moving away anyways, Why would I move out of my own house? I already did that once for her I don’t see why I need to do it again. The house wasn’t gifted either. I guess you wouldn’t fully understand since you’re not living here with her. But yeah. Idk if you read that she’s still currently out on bail for breaking and entering. It’s only a matter of time for legal actions and consequences, lm just wanting her out sooner than that. But who knows if that’ll even happen.
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I read all the replies, and if everything you state is true did you really think she had the capacity to understand the implications of this decision?

She has schizophrenic and has bipolar disorder, a past of poor spending habits, and clear lack of judgment yet your guys took the house as you said in another post your husband was going to inherent so you just spend up the process.

Which in my eyes shows what you guys really wanted. I hope this lawyer sticks to his guns.

If I was in your situation I would look into setting a trust with funds gained from house, help her get situated back home. Many things you can do, but kicking her out should not be one of them.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
“so you just sped up the process. Which in my eyes shows what you guys really wanted. I hope this lawyer sticks to his guns. “

Right. OP, you wanted to speed up the process of kicking her out?
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Mgdn - wait a minute...I just read you say that you moved to the east coast to "take care of her"???...and you've only been living there for 3 months and now it's time for her to leave as soon as the deed was transferred to you?

I'm sorry, but it sounds more like your intention to move east was primary just to get the house in your name. Your situation wasn't properly thought out and now it's in disarray. Your mother-in-law has mental health issues and it doesn't sound as if she has this stabilized - and you're not really taking care of her because you have no idea about her medications and how to manage this. Plus, you think she's only around 63 years old - have you and your husband worked out her financials to even know if she's capable of living out her life on her savings without having proceeds from selling her house rather than giving it away ? What is the worth of the house?

Her lawyer had specific provisions to this transaction - she is to live in the house and be taken care of, correct? It seems that's your role in owning the house - the house comes with conditions - nothing in life comes free - accept it or consider moving back west where you were before this.

Do you think you're being fair to your MIL - or was this set-up done selfishly and haphazardly - setting up a chaotic situation? I think there's been a lot of immaturity here on you and your husband's part, sadly.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
Yes!

And I didn’t even know this part: “I just read you say that you moved to the east coast to "take care of her"???...and you've only been living there for 3 months and now it's time for her to leave as soon as the deed was transferred to you?”
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