My sis and I are in FL and visited our mother in memory care for the first time since our governor opened nursing homes to loved ones. She said her right foot hurt, and while she's usually very difficult and belligerent about everything, she allowed us to look at her feet. We were shocked to discover that during the six months of lock down, her toe nails had grown up over, around and under her toes. We were horrified. We had an unusually good visit with her, but afterwards I immediately notified the nurse administrator. I wish now I had gotten photos, but I wasn't thinking straight. Before posting this I read other Aging Care posts about toe nail care. We know a podiatrist will be necessary at least for the first cut, because of the seriousness of the problem. But I'm terribly concerned Mom will refuse to allow anyone to care for her feet, including my sis or me. When we try to do things for her, like cut her hair, she'll just say, "I'll wait until I get home." I don't know what to do about this.
There is an Italian proverb "don't put a bandage on your head until it is broken".
I think that applies here and to a lot of elder care.
When I commented on his nails, he immediately shut me down. I only worked for Podiatrists for 11 years, so of course I do not know anything about nail care.
Here in Canada we have both Podiatrists and Foot Care nurses. At the cottage where up until this year Dad spent the summer, I knew there was a Foot Care nurse working out of the medical centre. I called her up and prepaid for an appointment for when Dad would be over there. Dad was willing to have her take care of his toes because the appointment was paid for.
Does the care home have a regular Podiatrist that takes care of the residents' feet? If yes, ask that your Mum be added to the list. Don't tell Mum that you did it, if she asks, you about it, tell her it is one of the services included in her rent.
Also, it is important that her feet are looked after by a trained professional, a Podiatrist or a Foot Care Nurse.
Dad now pays for his own appointment with the Foot Care Nurse. Only once a year, but he claims he cuts his nails at other times.
Have her Dr prescribe whatever treatment is necessary and refer her to a Specialist immediately.
As bad as you're saying, she will most likely have to be sedated.
In grown toenails can cause horrible pain.
Have this taken care of today.
Maybe your mom will be more receptive to a Podiatrist than she has been when you and your sister want to do anything. So I would leave it in a Podiatrist's hands who may be more able to talk her into it as I'm sure they've dealt with difficult patients before.
My mom is in memory care now after having nearly died of severe dehydration and COVID back in April. Her new facility as well as hospice said her toenails needed attention. Between hospice, the facility and myself we have contacted a mobile podiatrist and they scheduled the visit for the 12th. Maybe you should just get it arranged instead of telling her ahead of time where she may be more apt to say she doesn't need or want it.
If it's as bad as you say, that's not good to continue to let it go. I wish you luck!
As has been mentioned, sometimes medical professionals can get a lot farther than family members.
My mom's feet look like a horror movie, but oddly enough, getting her toenails dealt with was the one thing she never fought us on. She fought when I tried to do it, and when Dad tried. We took her to the podiatrist, and he was simply "the NICEST man, wasn't he?"
Lordy.
Don't avoid trying to help your mom because of how you think she might react. She may surprise you.
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