Her bathing at the sink scares me of falls.
I recently moved my mom into a new AL and the faucets for hot/cold water in the shower are opposite. They told me they had to go up into the ceiling to fix the problem, that it would be a real chore but are trying to get a plumber there. It has been two weeks. Mom has been slowly, over the last several months, changing her bathing habits already and has been fine with not using the shower. Several times they took her to an empty room to use that shower. Mom tells me it’s fine because she can bathe at the sink! In my opinion this is a big risk for falling! For some reason that really bugs the crap out of me...oh well, at least she got a shower. Last week they made a sign for her in the shower to remind her that the faucets are backwards. My question is, do I patiently wait another week to see if they got a plumber coming or call again, my last call was last Thursday. I hate to start out complaining about this new place but it is very expensive to live there...$4500! I’ve considered asking for a new room but the thought of what that consists of just wears me down. Plus my mom already struggles with moderate dementia and is happy with not bathing, I could see this turning into a real big habit of skipping showers.
Am I overreacting?
I realize some faucets are easy to fix, especially if the faucet is just one handle, then the plumbing only needs to adjust the screw. If there are separate piping then I can see this would be an issue. If this is an older building, you'd think by now it would have been corrected.
My bathroom at home had the same problem with the hot/cold and I just put up with it for years. I mentioned it to a plumber who was at the house for another issue, he fixed the hot/cold in 10 seconds :P
Dh 'finished' our 2nd bath he did the same thing. It drove insane. He also put the shower head at about a 7 foot level, so there is nowhere in there to "get out of the way' to soap up and wash. He was so defensive--and the kids wouldn't use it.
We had more than one houseguest get a scalding blast before they figured it out (altho I always told them!)
I also had a real plumber here for a small issue and he fixed the plumbing in about 1/2 hour. Said it was actually a code issue.
Your mother could easily be burned by this and a negligence lawsuit to follow!
I would insist on moving her or making this be a TOP priority ASAP.
This room should not even be in USE!!! They are taking advantage of your good nature.
I called again today, politely but firmly expressed my concerns. They said a plumber would be there next week but after hearing me out, they returned my call and said the plumber will be there tomorrow!
You all gave me the confidence that I needed today...it’s been a rough month.
This is such a stressful time, hang in there. 💐
may help to Involve Someone who Does this Sort of Work. For this Kind of Immense Money, Honey, She should be Bathing in Diamonds, love.
I wouldnt worry about scaldings. The water should be less than 120 degrees. You can always check it. It takes awhile in that temp for a burn. ( I looked it up for snfs).They know the elderly/dementia pts have paper think skin are using bathrooms & showers. A nice shower can be about 98-05 degrees. I have a shower that tells the temp.
There is nothing wrong with a few bathroom sink mini washings. Staff can help her with a chair at the sink. This is done in hospital and every day in rehab! Many people sit to brush teeth, wash face, arms, naughty bits etc. We even washed people with the warmed wet wipes. They didnt bother with the whole shower routine, unless pt requests it. A chair is easier for people recouping. Less worry about falls. We did Full mini wipe downs at bedside. Usually seated in a chair. People recouping from surgeries etc felt wonderful doing that. esp after anesthesia. This is normal at the hospital.
Elderly dont need to bathe as often. Their skin is very delicate , they dont produce the oils they once did, and they arent running around sweating. 2x a week is what most nursing homes do. The elderly do have a right to refuse. But then if they refuse too often they are getting one.
I have taken several full on wet wipe mini downs myself in bathroom toilets, when travelling. It feels very refreshing like you took a mini shower. Esp in Louisiana bayou heat. I digress.
Perhaps you can instruct the staff to help her with that. The resident stands to wipe their own bottom and then sits after on a towel and is given another towel to dry. They enjoy it, and after awhile the eve routine at the sink usually gets longer and longer. Im not kidding. They know they arent going to fall, and feel more comfortable to take their time.
I know a lot of the elderly stop showering bc they feel they dont need it, and are probably afraid of falls unless there are grab bars right there.
Nothing wrong with a wet wipe mini shower. Maybe you can show your mom how. Like I said, its done in hospitals and rehabs every day.
Good luck. Either way she will get clean:) glad you got problem fixed.
Call the City, County Building department or Code Enforcement.
If that gets you nothing contact the State Ombudsman they will take the complaint.
I am wondering if all the faucets in the facility are like this or just this one.
Most connections are under the sink and it is an easy fix to change the hot and cold line just by detaching and then crossing the lines to the other connection.
If this is the case I would be tempted to do it myself or hire a plumber.
It might be that after you make the complaints, after you inform (in writing) the AL that you will hire someone to do this and the cost will be reduced from what she pays monthly they might just get around to doing it.
However, it's inexcusable for AL to have the plumbing backwards. If they have been able to take Mom into another room for showering, why can't they let Mom have the other room??
You are doing an awesome job as your mom's advocate. I don't like to have to go to the hard nose stance as my dad's advocate, but I find that it is usually what gets things done now a days. Unfortunate that people only respond when pressured. Good job lady!
Inform the place that until the taps are fixed then your mom needs to have supervised shower with no additional expenses as putting up a sign for someone with dementia is plain stupid - she won't be wearing her glasses & when she reaches out she will automatically go to the familiar way - they put that sign up to cover their butts in case she scalds herself so inform them that the sign doesn't meet the smell test
Everything is resolved now, I do realize I probably should’ve raised more of a stink!!
And, if you see someone else put in that room, ask family if they fixed the shower yet.
You lift one foot at a time and wash it.
You rinse out the wash cloth and use it to wash off the soap.
As for how to get hot water, put the tea kettle on the warm morning coal stove over night.
Simple.
It still works today on occasion.
I’d be SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF!!
You’re Mom would like nothing more than to not bathe! It comes with the disease and it will get harder!!
Sorry but this irked me...you are NOT overreacting!!!
I questioned myself because at her previous AL I had multiple complaints. I feel like a fierceful watchdog now.
It is now fixed!
As far as what occurred with switching how in God’s name could any long term care provider even THINK this would work ???especially when there are elderly folks. It’s so ridiculous of them. Unacceptable! No common sense at all from the AL’s administration.