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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I think that you will need to consider placement for your father if you feel as though you cannot handle this 24/7 intensive care. I would certainly not be able to do it, and I spent my career as a nurse. Your Father may have many more needs other than incontinence. Do consider whether or not you can continue in this care. It's crucial we know our own limitations.
His medications could be causing the issue, too, so follow up with his doctor.
There's an anxiety medication that the dad of a friend takes (he, too, has Alzheimer's), and it absolutely liquified his intestines. If your dad is on one of those meds, alert the doctor.
Make sure he's wearing Depends or something on that order. It's not going to get better, so if you're responsible for his care, it may be time to place him in the appropriate facility, where he will have folks that are trained to change and clean him up. For most folks poop incontinence will be the straw that breaks the camels back.
This info from your profile will be helpful in answering your question:
"I am caring for my father who is 90 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, cancer, incontinence, and mobility problems."
You also state:
"Looks like father will be moving in with hubby and me."
Many on this site will urge you to consider alternative care rather than having him move in with you. It will be life-altering and exhausting for you and your husband in ways you cannot currently imagine, not to mention the emotional and even financial strain it will put on your relationship with your husband (the innocent bystander in all of it).
As for your father's bowel incontinence, I'm assuming you are already using adult disposable undies, like Depends? Is he removing them? Or is he having diarrhea? Can you please be more specific about the exact nature of the problem?
Angieszoo, in short, what you do is contain and clean. Containment by using absorbant, disposable underwear (Attends, Depends, etc.) and clean by going into the bathroom with your dad and cleaning him while he's on the toilet using disposable wet wipes (and whatever else works, but don't flush wet wipes) and helping him shower whenever necessary for complete cleaning. Repeat as required -- might be several times every day. Discuss this with your hubby and decide if you're both in agreement to have a trial period of your father living with you. I suggest not making long-term plans just yet for him living with you. A trial period will allow you to better see if there's any real chance of a longer-term commitment being a good idea. You could also get your father an appointment with a gastrointestinal specialist and go to that appointment with him, but know that it's fairly common for those specialists to not have any good solutions for patients with Alzheimer's dementia, other than contain and clean. Kudos to you and hubby for wanting to help your father. Best wishes for all of you during this hard time.
Yes check the foods he eats. I cut out coffee and apple juice with Mom. Did a number on her. I caught a new aide offering her coffee at dinner. I told her Mom is not to have coffee. I got a weird look. I then told her "you give her coffee, you pay the price". She had Gerd too so Dr. had said to cut out.
See if its a certain time of the day he goes, like after meals. Then get him to the bathroom at that time. Or maybe its just his brain can no longer send signals telling him he needs to go.
Think twice about bringing him into your home. The only couple I know who did it successfully was where the husband did anything intimate for his FIL. Me personally, would not take care of a man unless my husband.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
There's an anxiety medication that the dad of a friend takes (he, too, has Alzheimer's), and it absolutely liquified his intestines. If your dad is on one of those meds, alert the doctor.
For most folks poop incontinence will be the straw that breaks the camels back.
"I am caring for my father who is 90 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, cancer, incontinence, and mobility problems."
You also state:
"Looks like father will be moving in with hubby and me."
Many on this site will urge you to consider alternative care rather than having him move in with you. It will be life-altering and exhausting for you and your husband in ways you cannot currently imagine, not to mention the emotional and even financial strain it will put on your relationship with your husband (the innocent bystander in all of it).
As for your father's bowel incontinence, I'm assuming you are already using adult disposable undies, like Depends? Is he removing them? Or is he having diarrhea? Can you please be more specific about the exact nature of the problem?
See if its a certain time of the day he goes, like after meals. Then get him to the bathroom at that time. Or maybe its just his brain can no longer send signals telling him he needs to go.
Think twice about bringing him into your home. The only couple I know who did it successfully was where the husband did anything intimate for his FIL. Me personally, would not take care of a man unless my husband.