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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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He used to read newspaper, watch TV and go out, now he only eats, drinks and sleeps nothing else. I am worried. Is it only depression or something else? He is on antidepressant since last year.
Insist that the doctors change his medicine. This one isn’t working. Don’t just stop the meds though. It can be dangerous to do so. And are you sure your father is taking the meds? If you can get him to go for short walks several times a day, it might be more effective than the meds. Start with a very few minutes. Just to sit outdoors a few minutes is a good start and then extend. Also if it is possible consider a different doctor.
So that’s the problem, if he keeps saying he feels useless then that’s a big part of the reason why he’s depressed.
You don’t provide too much information about your/his family situation. Are you the only person caring for him? Are there other relatives that can help coming up with a plan, as a family, with ideas of things for him to do, or to give him a more active role in the family, so he feels he has a purpose. We all need a purpose in life, a reason to wake up and a goal to fulfill each day.
When one losses the ability to find that purpose, it’s important to get help from relatives and friends, as well as medical help.
My mom has a huge problem dealing with that, specially because although she tries to do things to feel useful, she’s a lot of health limitations. If your dad is in good general physical shape, he probably needs someone to help him feel useful again..That along with adequate depression meds should do the trick.
I hope you can count on others to help you help your dad, but if not, try to think of what could make him feel useful again, and do all you can to help him find his purpose again. Also make sure his medication is adjusted appropriately.
Rosses is right. When I moved my Dad here, he would say things like that. He couldn't see very well anymore, but we read the bible daily. So I typed him up a 24 font copy of the bible. I finished all of the new testament and part of the old. He was able to read again. He also was quite an active person, before age slowed him down. I figured out things like, we have birds and I would by corn on cob for squirrels and he would sit and shelled the corn from the cob, for his pigeons. Also, he was a bird man, and so I found an auction, where he could buy and sell, birds. I bought him an electric chainsaw, because it was light weight, and i would bring trees and limbs up to the house from the woods. Put them on a saw horse, and hold them for him to cut. He would have to take many breaks but we would get it done. He cut all the wood to heat the house his first winter here. we would take him fishing, even though had to bait, cast, and help reel. I just learned his interest and tried to accommodate anything he wanted to do. Maybe there are some interests of your Dads that you can help him do. Did he use to have hobbies? I am sure if you think really hard about it, there is something that would spark his interest again. What I am learning about elderly, is that they all go through this feeling of uselessness. I now know this and try and keep my mom busy with the things she can do, so she feels useful. but I still once in a while hear such comments. May God bless you and help you find resolve.
You typed up a good portion of the Bible for your dad? I’m speechless.
Wow, what a good child you’ve been to your parents! And I’m sure typing it up probably gave you plenty of blessings, as you were reminded of all those beautiful lessons Christ gave us and left us with to guide us through life.
Amazing gift to your dad and also amazing all you’ve done to help him and your mom to feel able. I’m sure your dad felt great cutting up all the wood to keep his family warm!
When did your father most recently see his doctor, vishdubai?
His behavior now could mean his depression treatment is not working. The doctor should make adjustments. Or it could be a sign of some other medical problem.
Either way, the person who can find the answer to your question is a medical professional. Can you convince Father to make an appointment? Would he let you go with him?
Depression is not uncommon when it comes to elderly people as they really have plenty of reasons to be depressed, starting with physical limitations, illnesses and ending with loneliness and so, so many other emotional and mental reasons. But definitely he needs to be reassessed to ensure there’s nothing else physical that’s causing his depression. Hopefully he’s willing to be seen by a doctor (a new one if necessary!).
Also, you mentioned that several doctors keep saying that the prescribed medication is appropriate..yet a medication that is NOT working is therefore NOT appropriate!
It takes a lot of trial and error to find the appropriate dosis or type of medication or combination of medicines for depression to find what works! Any doctor truly invested in your dads situation should be on top of that and making sure they keep trying until something works. Also, they should be reviewing what other medication he is taking to ensure there is no conflict between those medicines and the depression medication.
Lastly, have you talked to your dad to try to find out what makes him sad? Maybe that simple question can answer all your worries. Maybe he feels lonely, he might be far away from friends, or the only elderly in your household and surroundings. Maybe he feels useless..there are so many possible reasons! But start by lovingly asking him. If you don’t get an enlightening answer just tell him you love him, and you’ll always be there for him.
Please keep us posted, but please don’t allow the situation to just keep going in whatever direction. You are in charge, try to get this fixed, don’t allow him to just become more and more depressed each day!
I would suggest that he be evaluated by a geriatric psychiatrist. This person can do a complete mental health evaluation and also review his medical records. He can supervise his mental health medications. There may be a suggestion of therapy if the psychiatrist believes this to be necessary.
Thank you Rosses, It was a lot of scripture. And I do love them so much, I would do anything for them, especially anything to help spiritually, as that what truly matters. Thank you for your kind words. Much love in Him.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You don’t provide too much information about your/his family situation. Are you the only person caring for him? Are there other relatives that can help coming up with a plan, as a family, with ideas of things for him to do, or to give him a more active role in the family, so he feels he has a purpose. We all need a purpose in life, a reason to wake up and a goal to fulfill each day.
When one losses the ability to find that purpose, it’s important to get help from relatives and friends, as well as medical help.
My mom has a huge problem dealing with that, specially because although she tries to do things to feel useful, she’s a lot of health limitations. If your dad is in good general physical shape, he probably needs someone to help him feel useful again..That along with adequate depression meds should do the trick.
I hope you can count on others to help you help your dad, but if not, try to think of what could make him feel useful again, and do all you can to help him find his purpose again. Also make sure his medication is adjusted appropriately.
He also was quite an active person, before age slowed him down. I figured out things like, we have birds and I would by corn on cob for squirrels and he would sit and shelled the corn from the cob, for his pigeons. Also, he was a bird man, and so I found an auction, where he could buy and sell, birds. I bought him an electric chainsaw, because it was light weight, and i would bring trees and limbs up to the house from the woods. Put them on a saw horse, and hold them for him to cut. He would have to take many breaks but we would get it done. He cut all the wood to heat the house his first winter here.
we would take him fishing, even though had to bait, cast, and help reel.
I just learned his interest and tried to accommodate anything he wanted to do.
Maybe there are some interests of your Dads that you can help him do. Did he use to have hobbies? I am sure if you think really hard about it, there is something that would spark his interest again. What I am learning about elderly, is that they all go through this feeling of uselessness. I now know this and try and keep my mom busy with the things she can do, so she feels useful. but I still once in a while hear such comments.
May God bless you and help you find resolve.
You typed up a good portion of the Bible for your dad?
I’m speechless.
Wow, what a good child you’ve been to your parents! And I’m sure typing it up probably gave you plenty of blessings, as you were reminded of all those beautiful lessons Christ gave us and left us with to guide us through life.
Amazing gift to your dad and also amazing all you’ve done to help him and your mom to feel able. I’m sure your dad felt great cutting up all the wood to keep his family warm!
Loved your post. It’s a true testimony of love!
His behavior now could mean his depression treatment is not working. The doctor should make adjustments. Or it could be a sign of some other medical problem.
Either way, the person who can find the answer to your question is a medical professional. Can you convince Father to make an appointment? Would he let you go with him?
Depression is not uncommon when it comes to elderly people as they really have plenty of reasons to be depressed, starting with physical limitations, illnesses and ending with loneliness and so, so many other emotional and mental reasons. But definitely he needs to be reassessed to ensure there’s nothing else physical that’s causing his depression. Hopefully he’s willing to be seen by a doctor (a new one if necessary!).
Also, you mentioned that several doctors keep saying that the prescribed medication is appropriate..yet a medication that is NOT working is therefore NOT appropriate!
It takes a lot of trial and error to find the appropriate dosis or type of medication or combination of medicines for depression to find what works! Any doctor truly invested in your dads situation should be on top of that and making sure they keep trying until something works. Also, they should be reviewing what other medication he is taking to ensure there is no conflict between those medicines and the depression medication.
Lastly, have you talked to your dad to try to find out what makes him sad? Maybe that simple question can answer all your worries. Maybe he feels lonely, he might be far away from friends, or the only elderly in your household and surroundings. Maybe he feels useless..there are so many possible reasons! But start by lovingly asking him. If you don’t get an enlightening answer just tell him you love him, and you’ll always be there for him.
Please keep us posted, but please don’t allow the situation to just keep going in whatever direction. You are in charge, try to get this fixed, don’t allow him to just become more and more depressed each day!
May God bless you!
Did he lose interest before taking the medicine or did he start this lack of interest when he began taking meds?
Thank you for your kind words.
Much love in Him.
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