My father was placed in a care home 4 months ago. He was still walking then. He has a little bit of dementia, but is very stubborn and angry about being there. He was a life long alcoholic and also abused Vicodin. The NH where he is dried him out. Now Dad won't participate in activities, refuses to do physical therapy, and now won't get out of bed. He reads all day and refuses to do anything else. I try to explain to him that he needs to get up or soon his muscles will atrophy and he won't be able to walk. He can still stand using a walker and walk a few steps. I am frustrated and so is the staff of the NH. Dad has always been an angry and controlling person. He is 86, by the way. Do I just let him be? What would you do if you had to deal with this situation? I try to encourage him to get up, to try walking, to watch tv, to socialize with other residents. All he wants to do is read and block everything out. He doesn't get up to use the bathroom, just uses the depends like a diaper. I would appreciate any suggestions.
The only thing I'll add is that your dad is probably pissed about being "dried out". My dad was an alcoholic too and that was the last thing he wanted to do. The booze is THE most important thing--coming 1st above family, job or anything else.
You said he's always been an angry and controlling person. He is no different now. He's angry at being denied booze and controlling the situation by purposely not doing what everyone wants him to do. He'll show you all. The only one he's really hurting is himself. If he doesn't care, don't get upset about it (if you can). He's only been there 4 months. Give him a little more time to adjust (especially without the alcohol and drugs). Can the NH have someone come in to talk to him (therapist)?
Don't make a big deal out of him not cooperating, as he will use this against you. I wouldn't even bring up the consequences of not cooperating. My dad even snuck booze into the board and care home. He was warned that he could fall and bleed out. (He took blood thinners.) He didn't care, so how could I be too worried.
Resign yourself that he will do things how he wants to.