My husband and I are caregivers for his dad living in a senior complex. He is losing his common sense. He has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He is still able to dress himself and prepare meals. We had the stove turned off, but he's able to use microwave and toaster, at least until today. I check on him almost daily. Today, I walked in and he had a long utensil in the toaster because his toast was stuck. I went off the deep end. The toaster was still plugged in and I could smell burning toast. Do I take the toaster away? Is it time for assisted living? He swears he won't do it again. He wants to stay there and we would like him to stay there but have serious concernts about his safety. Torn on how to move forward. Being there 24/7 is not an option.
You shouldn't have to be there 24 hours a day while he's in senior living...........he's just in the wrong TYPE of senior living. Move him to Memory Care AL asap and in the meantime, take away all the small appliances, knives, cleaning supplies and anything else that may cause him harm. He can get himself into a BIG mess of trouble now in 2 seconds flat, which includes wandering away and getting lost. It only takes ONE incident to have a crisis on your hands.
Regular AL is not the right setting for FIL either b/c they provide kitchens and other equipment that he is no longer able to operate, including thermostats. You'd be surprised how much simpler life is in Memory Care vs. regular AL; I learned that when I had to move my mother from AL into MC back in 2019; her world was greatly shrunken down which made her life SO much simpler and safer, thankfully.
Read this 33 page booklet for insight about Alzheimers & Dementia:
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Good luck!
This will tell you what level of care he needs.
Not Independent Living.
So it is time now for you all three to talk about placement.
I am hopeful that a POA is in place. It will be expensive to go the route of conservatorship. You need a diary and you need to document what you are seeing now. A notebook without removable pages, with no blackouts can be invaluable in court should placement be required, and dad refuse.
How long has your Dad had Alzheimer's? Is this your first indication he could be in danger?
Best of luck out to you.
Unless the Assisted Living is a locked unit.
The problem with AL is that the residents are able to come and go all they usually have to do is sign in and out.
There comes a time when the danger of someone with dementia wandering off is real and potentially fatal.
Safety is priority.
Well, it was the right move, she has made new friends and loves all the additional attention she gets in MC. I am amazed how much more involved the staff is in memory care and there are so many more activities available.
I am glad that we didn't wait, we would have done that to soothe our own minds, not hers.
I wished we had placed mom in the nursing home sooner. She has blossomed, seems very content and the whole staff there are wonderful to her. It's so nice to be a daughter once again instead of a caregiver. Mom is 94.
you will have to move him another time if you put him an AL .. which as I understand causes more decline..
it is inevitable
He's going to cont to go downhill. Can you pop over and make breakfast and put a few salads or dinners in the fridge for the week? Maybe some eggs and he can microwave it. But who knows if he will put it in for 20 mins not 2. Or not take plastic wrap off the dish.
It probably is time, because you had to turn the stove off. It's going to keep happening.
Unless you get a worker to come in and do some caregiving. Or you do it. Maybe pop in 2x a day if you can. How about a cam so you can see him and what he is up to, to keep an eye on him? Might work for awhile. Good luck.
He's going to cont to go downhill. Can you pop over and make breakfast and put a few salads or dinners in the fridge for the week? Maybe some eggs and he can microwave it. But who knows if he will put it in for 20 mins, not 2. Or not take plastic wrap off the dish.
It is probably is time, because you had to turn the stove off. It's going to keep happening.
Unless you get a worker to come in and do some caregiving. Or you do it. Maybe pop in 2x a day if you can. How about a cam so you can see him and what he is up to, to keep an eye on him? Might work for awhile. Good luck.
A caregiver is much cheaper than a nursing home.
Do not take his toaster away. The burning smell was probably shaken crumbs from his trying to get the toast out, and no harm has been done. This is not a serious concern, it's standard, casual human error.
There is a line from Lionel Shriver's book "Should We Stay Or Should We Go?" - "'My real mother doesn't put sponges in the toaster.'"
Being too idle and impatient to unplug the toaster and painstakingly remove the wonky slice with wooden or plastic tongs, normal.
Putting dishwasher sponges in the toaster, demented.
Inexperienced caregivers may think Shriver's example far-fetched. I might have thought so too before I witnessed a client's determined effort to make a cup of tea using first Bran Flakes and then, when that didn't seem to be working, cat kibble.