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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Enjoy every moment you have together. Love him and respect his wishes. Go on that dream trip, eat off the china, take a bubble bath together and use the "good" towels. It's not how long you stay together, it's what you do with that time!
My 80 year-old mom and I went to the ER when she became suddenly very confused. Two days later, we left with a diagnosis of stage iv renal carcinoma meta'd to adrenals, spine, and lungs. She agreed to two ct scans, an MRI and a kidney biopsy, which presented a "false negative." At first she denied she had cancer and accused "sham, con, crooked doctors and the medical field of trying to steal" her money. In other words, she was Irrational. THAT was incredibly frustrating, and, of course, she was refusing treatment in that state of mind.
She has always been very healthy, fit, eaten mainly organic home-grown food, exercised daily, her entire life. She would occasionally see alternative doctors or use home remedies.
After a month, she told me that when a friend asked about her sudden weight loss, she told her, "I have cancer, and I am not seeing a doctor for it. I want you to see me healed. If it turns out that I need hospice, I will take morphine, but I am going to do this MY WAY."
For me, that was a sign of her choice being made RATIONALLY. Although it is NOT what I would do, she knew her options and made HER choice. And I want to respect that.
My husband and his family coerced their father to have chemo, and it was HELL, he said. He says he feels guilty to this day for "forcing Dad" into such suffering.
We need to each make peace with our own decisions, being part of this experience. Yes, it is the immediate experience of the person with cancer. But it really is OUR cancer, too. It is important for us to keep our own IMMUNE SYSTEMS healthy and to be aware of our own emotional challenges in this group experience.
You know him better than anyone. Is he the kind of person that has trouble facing difficult things? Has he thrown in the towel so to speak and doesn't want to fight the cancer? He can't know for sure if it's gonna kill him till he gets the facts right? Personally, I would want to know EVERYTHING about the cancer I had, but then I suppose not everyone is that way. Pick his brain, see where he's coming from.
He may be in denial. He may have decided to avoid unpleasant medical procedures, high medical bills, or an extension of life he deems will lack much quality. He may have decided not be 'be a burden' to loved ones. His age and/or other health conditions may be a factor in his decision. (You did not state how old he is.)
Here is an article from the LA Times which touches on some of these points. http://articles.latimes.com/2007/feb/05/health/he-enough5/4
It is possible bless his heart that he is just done... We are facing this with my Daddy he is just tired and getting weaker. I would have a serious and honest chat with him. I know it is not easy but I am sure that you want to respect his wishes... take care J
I agree - it is important to find out why he will not go. He has a reason and if he can't tell you, is there someone else he can talk with? You don't want to be arguing with him at a time when you both need each other so much . . . . try to get on the same side and see how he is thinking.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She has always been very healthy, fit, eaten mainly organic home-grown food, exercised daily, her entire life. She would occasionally see alternative doctors or use home remedies.
After a month, she told me that when a friend asked about her sudden weight loss, she told her, "I have cancer, and I am not seeing a doctor for it. I want you to see me healed. If it turns out that I need hospice, I will take morphine, but I am going to do this MY WAY."
For me, that was a sign of her choice being made RATIONALLY. Although it is NOT what I would do, she knew her options and made HER choice. And I want to respect that.
My husband and his family coerced their father to have chemo, and it was HELL, he said. He says he feels guilty to this day for "forcing Dad" into such suffering.
We need to each make peace with our own decisions, being part of this experience. Yes, it is the immediate experience of the person with cancer. But it really is OUR cancer, too. It is important for us to keep our own IMMUNE SYSTEMS healthy and to be aware of our own emotional challenges in this group experience.
Pick his brain, see where he's coming from.
His age and/or other health conditions may be a factor in his decision. (You did not state how old he is.)
Here is an article from the LA Times which touches on some of these points.
http://articles.latimes.com/2007/feb/05/health/he-enough5/4
You don't want to be arguing with him at a time when you both need each other so much . . . . try to get on the same side and see how he is thinking.