I go there every other day and my mom has this same problem, tells me I have to go to bathroom...she is afraid to eat lunch as she has to go to bathroom. They tell her to wait till a certain time. How do I handle this with out my mom experiencing retaliation from the aide. If she doesn't go when she has to and waits she get constipated, then she gets a physical...then she won't eat lunch as she is afraid she has to go to bathroom.
(Your mother only has mobility problems? Not dementia-related ones?)
... it is otherwise unforgivable for the aide to be refusing assistance to a person who needs to go.
Can you assist her yourself? - then go in search of an incredibly good explanation of the aide's attitude from the facility's manager.
What does your Mom's primary doctor recommend?
If she is in a facility there are many who need attention and too few to help, so unfortunately sometimes people do have to wait. And as mentioned by Countrymouse, sometimes people become a little bit obsessed with their bowels and are asking to go to the bathroom repeatedly, sometimes only a few minutes after being taken... as heartbreaking as it is to hear their pleas for assistance you can't really blame the aides for tuning them out. If she is having problems with constipation it needs to be addressed by the RN on duty or her physician.