She was admitted 2 days ago and has spent 2 nights there. She has had several TIA'S. We went to see her at admittance time as I had to sign to admit her. She was very sweet and pleasant in her bed. We have been told she is refusing meds and rehab. Also refusing most of her meals. We went to see her yesterday and she was like a different person. Seemed very depressed. My heart is broken. I am very devoted to caring for her. She lives with my brother and me and we care for her 24/7 and if we need to get out for shopping etc we have to get someone to be with her. We don't want her to suffer anymore. Can we take her out of this place and take her home? Also yesterday my brother noticed her thick stocking was soaked. Nurse took her stockings off and that foot swollen. Only excuses from nurse. Want her home so we can give her care she deserves. Thanks to all in advance.
Mom (dementia in MC) did "okay" with OT/PT the first time a while ago, but since she started refusing to walk and expressing fear of falling when she tries to stand, they recommended OT/PT. She would NOT work with them, not one minute. They would walk away and come back in a few to try again. The last attempt she basically told them to do what they wanted her to do! They signed off (Medicare won't pay if progress isn't made) saying 'goals met'. Seriously? What goals were those???
They can't force ANYONE to do what they don't want to do, even those with dementia. They can try, they can coax, but they cannot MAKE them do anything. So, if she does well at home, that is the best place for her. Just the unfamiliar surroundings, faces, noises, etc at rehab would be disturbing and disruptive to someone with dementia (never mind a stroke on top of that!)
So, do give her a little time, and if you feel she could benefit from a little OT/PT, request that from the doctor, but specify in-home. If you sit through the exercises while they work with her, you can help her practice during the day, to build up strength/flexibility. If she won't work with them at home, they will sign off and stop, but Medicare should cover the cost.
I think our mother's biggest problems are weight, bad knees and SITTING all the time! Can't get her to do anything though and trying to remind her that if she doesn't use it she will lose it doesn't work.
I would definitely give your Mom more time to settle in, does she need an antidepressant, they work wonders. Try to put a positive spin on it..I dragged my Dad out of his room many times to attend activities..check out the activity department. He loved the age appropriate music programs and several other activities.
Bring her home and have hospice evaluate her.
My mom fell and was sent to rehab after the hospital. Because the hospital kept her for three days and nights but did not admit her, we had to pay the full freight for the rehab. $15,000 per month--and they kept her for two months. Ouch!
The rehab was incredible--they charged if she took a breath and again if she exhaled it. they charged for touching her! the bills were five pages long.
And for what? She lays in bed all day now as she did before. She walks to the table with a walker and goes back to bed. She gets help with everything as she did before. So why rehab?
If you put your mom in that rehab, you are giving up all kinds of control. If she is as bad as you say, don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let he go home and rest and be pampered.
My mom was so sweet the first day admitted to rehab. In her bed, smiling and
talking to my brother and me. The next day went downhill so fast. Not much eye contact, hardly talking, having to be fed, that is, if she would eat at all, grabbing workers jewelry if they tried to work with her, etc. I knew this would not work out as at 2 previous rehabs she stopped taking meds and refused rehab, etc. I tried my best to have her not go but hospital so insistent.
Well, yesterday on her 3rd day there I told myself I wasn't going to allow them to make her suffer. I called and at first was told I would have to sign to release her going home against medical suggestions. I spoke to social worker and she spoke to Dr and he signed to have her released.
She was so sick last night; much worse than in hospital. So she wanted to come home as usual and we did take her home. She still is confused and we're hoping she will be on road to feeling better. She did take her meds after leaving and is still comfortably sleeping. Hoping today will be a good or much better day for her and will continue giving her her meds, good food, and trying to get her back to normal state. 😊❤
happy treats... and know she knows she is loved....
Mine passed at 90.. And I still blame me......
But my FIL who passed away many moons ago,, always told me... These bodies are not meant to live on forever......
I Love You Mom....
Take her home.. It's okay, she's your mom, and you two know best...
Get her back to her normal
Take her home. She does not need to be rehabilitated. She needs to be kept comfortable. She is 91. If she needed 24/7 care before the stroke,then the best rehab could ever do is to restore her to the state she was before the strokes. Medical people will tell you that one never knows how a neurological patient will recover, but at 91 and with advanced dementia?
Call hospice.
I would also ask him about Hospice care. Having numerous TIAs is not good. She will be so much better at home.
The therapy that mom received was excellent. The physical therapist and occupational therapist are very dedicated to helping those with Parkinson’s. It absolutely helps. There aren’t any distractions in a nursing home. It is total concentration on the exercises.
It’s more intense than home health. I guess it depends on what is needed.
I would discuss this with the doctor.
If she is otherwise stable and if you think rehab is doing some good you could request in home visits from the therapists.
If the doctors believe that you and your brother can take care of her, and if she had no other health problems (other than the dementia) prior to her hospitalization I would not see why they would think you can not care for her.
Another option would be to contact Hospice. Once she is on Hospice therapy is no longer a service she would get. She would be discharged to home on Hospice.
Hospice will help you care for her.
Hospice will have a nurse come in once a week to check her, a CNA a few times a week they will bathe her, dress her, order supplies. It is an Awesome service and it is covered by Medicare (and Medicaid as well as other insurance providers)
The nursing home staff did not encourage it even though I told them she had terrible edema. She suffered afterwards from not wearing them. Get them back on her if possible.
My mom’s nurse’s excuse was it ‘wasn’t in her records to wear them’. Geeeeez. Yeah, I get what you’re saying about the staff. I kept asking for them to do it. They ignored it. It was in mom’s records that she suffered with horrible edema. So I suppose it has to be a specific order for them to implement placing the compression stockings on a resident regularly.
Anyway, I would call her doctor and ask him/her to send over an order to place the stockings on her. This way there is an order that should be followed and a paper trail. I should have done that but I was dealing with a few other things as well. I was trying to tackle one thing at the time and I couldn’t make everything happen. I tried to be a good advocate for my mother.
Also, ask nicely. Hope that they respond. They are often understaffed and unfortunately some things don’t get done. Clots can occur if stockings aren’t worn plus the swelling is uncomfortable. Does she have the proper size stockings? This is important. Those darn things are a pain in the butt to begin with and the wrong size only makes it worse and can even cause a bigger problem if circulation is cut off, not to mention major discomfort!
2 days isn’t a long time. Give them a chance and if not let her doctor step in if he/she or his nurse would be willing to handle the communication with the staff at the NH.
Best wishes to you and your family.