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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My father's drinking is getting out of control. He fell down the stairs last Sunday, we had to rush him to hospital. His vocal behavior towards my mom is horrible if he is drinking. Really upsetting here, then she doesn't know him.
Abo, your parents are going through something they never would have thought would happen to them. This isn't the retirement they had in mind. Men tend to like to fix things, and they can't fix dementia, so it can be very frustrating for your Dad.
Your Dad drinking could be from being physically and emotionally exhausted trying to care for your Mom. As you know late stage dementia changes the person's personality to a point where you don't recognize the person.
Any chance your Mom could go into a continuing care facility? If your parents cannot budget for this, then applying for Medicaid would be a great help as Medicare will pay for room, board, and medical care. That way you Dad could visit Mom, and try to catch his breath. Dad needs to be a husband, not a tired caregiver.
We are in Ireland, my father just won't take a break , I am the youngest of 8 , I'm 47 years old and moved home from Spain to help my dad look after her. He is great with her when he is not drinking but when he is he is very fusterateed . I have tried talking to him when he is sober, tried reasoning with him but he still goes drinking this is his 4th fall since October that I know off. I love looking after my mom and dad . But he is making it so much harder . He upsets her so much it's verbal abuse and she does not know what's going on. I am at my wit's end
Has your dad always abused alcohol or is this a new thing? I wonder if his drinking is his way of dealing with your mom's dementia or if he's always had a problem with alcohol.
You won't be able to change your dad's behavior regardless of what you say or how much you plead. He has to want to change and if drinking is his only coping skill he's not likely to give it up.
Have you considered a nursing home for your mom? I'm sure that's the last thing you want for her. Or the second to last next to her having dementia and living with a husband who verbally abuses her when he's drunk. But it would get her out of harms way.
Many times when there's a substance abuser in the home everyone's lives revolve around that person. It can be a very toxic environment. But right now your mom needs taking care of and she needs to not be the target of a drunken, resentful husband. If you can get your mom into a facility then maybe your dad can get back up on his feet as well.
Things won't get better on their own. They won't "work themselves out." Your parents are dealing with two progressive diseases, dementia and alcoholism. These illnesses only get worse as time goes on.
Concentrate on what your mom needs right now since there's nothing you can do about your dad's behavior. Do you have the support of your siblings? What do they say?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Your Dad drinking could be from being physically and emotionally exhausted trying to care for your Mom. As you know late stage dementia changes the person's personality to a point where you don't recognize the person.
Any chance your Mom could go into a continuing care facility? If your parents cannot budget for this, then applying for Medicaid would be a great help as Medicare will pay for room, board, and medical care. That way you Dad could visit Mom, and try to catch his breath. Dad needs to be a husband, not a tired caregiver.
Has your dad always abused alcohol or is this a new thing? I wonder if his drinking is his way of dealing with your mom's dementia or if he's always had a problem with alcohol.
You won't be able to change your dad's behavior regardless of what you say or how much you plead. He has to want to change and if drinking is his only coping skill he's not likely to give it up.
Have you considered a nursing home for your mom? I'm sure that's the last thing you want for her. Or the second to last next to her having dementia and living with a husband who verbally abuses her when he's drunk. But it would get her out of harms way.
Many times when there's a substance abuser in the home everyone's lives revolve around that person. It can be a very toxic environment. But right now your mom needs taking care of and she needs to not be the target of a drunken, resentful husband. If you can get your mom into a facility then maybe your dad can get back up on his feet as well.
Things won't get better on their own. They won't "work themselves out." Your parents are dealing with two progressive diseases, dementia and alcoholism. These illnesses only get worse as time goes on.
Concentrate on what your mom needs right now since there's nothing you can do about your dad's behavior. Do you have the support of your siblings? What do they say?