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She is sleeping 20 hours a day, drinking 2 Boosts and eating 1 Klondike per day. She is 5’7, 82lbs. (A year ago she was 100lbs.) Loss of interest in all we have loved to do. She is lucid sometimes when lying in bed. She is confused and disoriented when she sits up in bed. She is too weak to walk to the bathroom on her own, I push her (seated) in her walker. She can wash her hands and brush her teeth if seated. This has been a rapid decline since Christmas. She was on Eliquis for two leaky heart valves. I am interested in similar stories and how the end played out. She does not qualify to go into the hospice facility (yet).

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What do you want to know? It seems that your 93 year old mother is approaching the end of life, and (short of an illness with a known progression) it is difficult to guess how soon the end will come. If you want more information about end of life generally, click on Care Topics at the top right of the screen, then on E for End Of Life, and you will find about 100 articles, 4000 old questions and 1000 old discussions. If nothing else, they should help you to be more specific about your question.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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NMJen88011 Jul 30, 2024
Thanks. I just found this site yesterday and after I posted my question, did find all the further reading that you are suggesting. I’m new to this phase of life for my mom and just trying to make a connection.
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When my MIL basically stopped eating, she took almost a year to die. It was awful. I wasn't involved in any aspect of her care, but as it took my DH away from home for up to 5 full days/nights a week, it DID affect me.

You can expect mom to sleep more than she is now. At some point, she will slip into a coma. She's not eating enough to sustain life.

Your job is to keep her out of pain and comfortable. Don't push her to do anything she doesn't want to do.

You sure she doesn't qualify for Hospice? My MIL wasn't as bad as your mom and she qualified with no issues. The aid and support of the Hospice company, (while not very good quality), was helpful to the kids as they navigated her EOL.

She was on a mild pain med and mostly on anti-anxiety drugs, b/c her anxiety was through the roof.
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pamzimmrrt Jul 30, 2024
I think she says Mom is on home hospice, but not yet able to to a hospice separate facility. Normally the outside hospice house is if death is expected in a few days or a week. At least it was in our experience with my BFs hubby. And my hubs Aunt
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I am relieved that your mother is on Hospice for her end of life care.
I would not push nutritional drinks unless they are requested; they will prolong suffering.
I am surprised you can find in facility hospice which is now rarer than hen's teeth.
Please let all care now be aimed toward comfort. Wishing you the very best.
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If she’s on high calorie boost, this plus the clondike bar dives her around 1200 cals a day. This is actually enough to maintain life.

As for the facility, you should be getting your five days on respite regardless.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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Hospice told us to look for 3 signs for end of life approaching, 1 sleeping a deeper than normal sleep, 2 stopping communication, and 3 stopping eating. All proved true. The high calorie food intake of your mother is likely to keep her going longer than what one would normally expect. My mother died 3 weeks after last having food, my dad 5 days. This is a very difficult thing to watch and I wish you both peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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My mom died about 5 days after stopping eating but I do believe the timing has much to do with the baseline health of your mom. My mom had congestive heart failure along with dementia. BTW..hospice predicted she had weeks to live,

She also had already lost a lot of weight in the last few months of her life. I think her heart could not take the decline and she transitioned quickly. I have realized reading the forum that every story is unique because of all these variables. It is impossible to know.

I am so sorry for your mom and wish you strength. Take each day as it comes and cherish the time you have, if you can.
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I'm glad you found the extra information on the site. Many people (like you) come to the site not know just how much helpful information is there, so I often find that suggestions on how to find it can be the backing for more personal questions. Yours, Margaret
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