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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Since you put your post under the Alzheimer's and dementia category, I'll assume your mother suffers from dementia. She may be confabulating, or confused, or may be telling the truth, who knows? Have you ever seen your sisters birth certificate? If your mom adopted her, she'd have a very different looking birth certificate than yours. Does she look like other family members? You can do a DNA test or Ancestry.com if you're wondering.
I'd probably chalk this statement off to confabulating, because by now, the truth of this situation would've come to light, I'd think. These elders often hear something on tv and then get thinking it's THEIR life and that's how confabulation is born.
The best way for you to find out if your sister is truly your sister or your mother’s daughter is for you to purchase DNA test kits from ancestry.com or 23andMe.com and do the DNA test and you will get a definitive answer. You will need to purchase three DNA test kits — one for your mother, one for your sister, and one for you. Then all three of you will follow the instructions and then send the kits back. This is a simple test where you just follow the instructions by spitting into the tube, seal it, and send it back and within two weeks you will get the result. The results will be online for you to see. BTW, when you do the DNA test, be prepared to find out about other relatives that you never knew existed.
Hoping you will do the above which will put your mind at ease once you get the results. Just know that DNA never lies, so prepare yourself for whatever results come your way.
To ask Fawnby's question a different way, does it matter to your mother? If she brings it up, why? Is she rejecting her? Besides the 'hanging around with us' comment, what about the rest of M's story?
Another slant, does it matter to you? And to your sister? What does your sister say about it? If she was old enough to 'hang around with you', she should have some memories. It seems like your sister is the one who could be deeply distressed by this.
Do keep in mind that dementia can conjure all sorts of stories. For a while my mother insisted she had two husbands. She also became very angry that our pool water was cool (broken heater) which made her daily lengths uncomfortable. She cannot swim and has always loathed getting wet. (fearing for her safety we immediately closed the pool) She is a retired elementary school teacher but for a few years she insisted she was a neuropsychiatrist. (she’s a teacher again, sometimes retired, sometimes on her way to work) She swears she has never ever seen my house in spite of having lived here for almost 20 years.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'd probably chalk this statement off to confabulating, because by now, the truth of this situation would've come to light, I'd think. These elders often hear something on tv and then get thinking it's THEIR life and that's how confabulation is born.
Hoping you will do the above which will put your mind at ease once you get the results. Just know that DNA never lies, so prepare yourself for whatever results come your way.
Another slant, does it matter to you? And to your sister? What does your sister say about it? If she was old enough to 'hang around with you', she should have some memories. It seems like your sister is the one who could be deeply distressed by this.
Do you have any idea what M is talking about?
Do keep in mind that dementia can conjure all sorts of stories. For a while my mother insisted she had two husbands. She also became very angry that our pool water was cool (broken heater) which made her daily lengths uncomfortable. She cannot swim and has always loathed getting wet. (fearing for her safety we immediately closed the pool) She is a retired elementary school teacher but for a few years she insisted she was a neuropsychiatrist. (she’s a teacher again, sometimes retired, sometimes on her way to work) She swears she has never ever seen my house in spite of having lived here for almost 20 years.