8 months ago palliative care was started as doctors thought she was approaching the end of her life and she had developed gangrene. She has a lot of pain from her foot which is now infected and she is on a morphine patch and antibiotics. She is non responsive most of the time and hasn't recognized anyone for a year. After such a long, long illness it is cruel to see her like this, it's a torture...she is eating and drinking small amounts, but I wonder how the next stage will be with the gangrene...any advice?
i know hospice sounds more final than palliative care but she is already receiving some of the care hospice provides so apart from different people she won't notice much difference. If she is capable of understanding and would be fearful you don't even need to tell her about the change.
many people see hospice as giving up and admitting defeat. This is far from the truth. It is making the loving decision to provide the best possible care for your mother. She has suffered long enough and everyone needs to be able to relax and accept the reality of the situation, sad as that may be. Without the option of surgery there is no other treatment available except comfort care. be blessed that you still have a short time left with Mom and get family to visit if they want to say goodbye and make time to have good conversations with her if she is able. If she has religious beliefs ask her minister to visit. if there is something she wants to do hospice will try and make that possible and provide volunteers to help.
Thank-you for the update.
I know what you mean by losing someone slowly, bit by bit, and then also facing the final loss. And I know what you mean by death being incredibly special and profound. I was surprised at how much I found that to be the case. I am so glad the passing was peaceful, for both of you.
You have lost your dear mother, and also lost a very significant role you have held for ten years. Be gentle with yourself, and take all the time you need to heal.
My congratulations on fulfilling this very meaningful role, and condolences on this loss.
May God bless you.
Always remember you did your very best for her at all times. You were brilliant. Be kind to yourself and take the time you need to mend.
Take care. Hugs