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Barney18,

I read your profile and no, you are not failing your mother.
If caring for her has become too much for you and is preventing you from living your life, then it's time to put her in a care facility.
It's not a failure on your part to not be able to cope with being her caregiver anymore. It happens to almost every one of us at some point.
Look for a care home for her or explore the possibility of bringing in hire homecare.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2021
I second this response!
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Her throwing things is not good. You should tell her Dr. Maybe able to give her something.

There comes a time in the ALZ/Dementia journey that one person cannot to it all or be expected to do it all. It becomes a 24/7 job. I am close to Moms age and I would not expect my girls to care for me. When I am 75, one will be 47 and the other 39. Both with jobs and one with a child. I don't expect them to care for me. For me, if I am ever diagnosed with a Dementia, it will be an AL.

If Mom has money use it to place her in a Memory care facility. Then you visit and enjoy her without all the work.
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Please look into placement for your mom. You have been a wonderful caregiver, but it may be time to surrender your caregiver responsibilities and allow others to care for her.
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You don't say in your profile if you live with your mother or not, but either way, it's never ok to tolerate any abuse from someone you're caring for. It sounds like it's time to have mother placed in the appropriate facility, where she will receive the 24/7 care she needs, and you can get back to just being her child, and live your life the way you see fit.
No where is it written that children have to do the caregiving for their parents. I'm sure if your mother was in her right mind, she would not want you giving up your life to care for her. She would want you to be doing things you enjoy, and be happy. Please take care of yourself.
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If you are failing YOURSELF, who will be concerned for you?
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