In mid July a relative told my mother that I was in the process of placing her in a long term and taking her assets. All of which is untrue. Everyone that knows my mother knows she fears any kind of institutional care because she was raised in an orphanage. Using this lie they then took my mother to her banks and opened a joint acct at 1 and transferred the money from another to their own account, including her monthly social security check (since resolved). She was told not to answer my calls and did not.
Long story short about 12 days later I received a call from the state social worker telling me has dementia she is in the hospital,. Then a couple of days later I am told by the hospital social worker "she is of her own person".
She was told at discharge from the hospital she could either go home with me, go to long term care of adult foster care. She came home with me.
Also at her discharge the hospital did not tell me she had or has any mental illness, even though she signed the HEPPA form to allow me to discuss and have any medical records. I was given instructions to care for her broken arm, acquired while with the relative that took her money, days prior to her recent hospitalization. I DISCOVERED BY RESEARCHING SHE IS TAKING MEDICATION FOR DEMENTIA AND SCHIZOPHRENIA/BI-POLAR. I immediately contacted the hospital medical social worker who confirmed she was on this type of medication, was surprised the doctor did not come talk to me/us before discharge and told me the diagnosing doctor had minimal training in the area and is not certified.
My mother use to work with the mentally impaired and was an ombudsman for people in long term care. She knows her rights. She will not voluntarily take testing or give anyone DPOA. She believes people want to control her or put her in long term care.
She did file a police report under the "Elder Law" against the relative that took her money, most of which has been spent on a "new home". It is under investigation. I was told she will have to testify. I know she cannot do this because she does have something wrong mentally. I do not know what it is because I am not a doctor.
Why do I say this: She hallucinates, seeing things that are not there or happening. She is paranoid and trusts no one. Her events begin at dusk. She will repeatedly ask the same questions on issues that have happened that day/hour to within the last 5 or 6 years, but is able to remember events long ago. She states that the relative that did this to her lives with her. This person has not lived with her for 40 years. She also states she has not seen or talked to me for 20 years, but I spoke with her everyone 2 or 3 days (we are separated by mileage), visiting and doing repairs to her home as often as I could She often says she is not hungry, but practically licks her plate or she cannot remember if or what she ate. When I discovered she was urinating in a bucket in her bedroom she told me she was not able to hold her urine long enough to get to the bathroom. These are just a few examples of her state of mind/actions.
What do I do? I have no legal authority, she will not cooperate because of her fear. She is currently in my home but I cannot afford to financially support her and cannot ask others to continue to care for her. Quitting work to care for her is not an option for me.
She does not realize she has something wrong mentally and wants to go home after her cast is removed. She currently blames her mental state on hitting her head when she fell, but thinks she is getting better.
I need her to be diagnosed so she is cared for properly mentally, physically and financially. I also need to prove to the courts she will not be able to testify in her own behalf because it is difficult for her to remember current events unless you repeatedly remind her what happened.
On an average she has been in the hospital once a month since January. She refused to allow her medical information released to anyone, until the last hospitalization, so I do not know why she was hospitalized, However, even though she gave permission for the last hospitalization they did not tell me why she was there. Her records were requested with my mom's signature to be sent to my home but I have yet to receive them.
It has been suggested to me that I allow her to go home, knowing she will again be hospitalized. When the hospital contacts me again refuse to take her home until they have had her mentally diagnosed by a certified geriatric psychologist, even though SHE WILL NOT COOPERATE, and run the necessary tests for her medical condition. She has stated she has some medical conditions that I was not informed of and have no records of.
I am lost and do not know how to handle this situation.
1. The relatives. Their actions are fraudulent misrepresentation, in representing to anyone, including the banks, that they had any authority to use your mother's funds. Not only is this also grounds to involve the police as you have done, but it's also grounds to bring in APS to address the fraud, although they would probably contact the authorities as you have already done.
However, any representations to the bank, depending on what they specifically said, would be fraudulent, as would be the transfer of funds to another account for the purpose of purchasing a home.
There's a whole chain of activity involved in these bank transfers.
The banks can provide data to reflect who the funds were paid to. Assuming there were real estate companies involved, notify them of the fraudulent activities; they probably are unknowing participants, but they need to at least be alerted, as should the other parties involved (seller, seller's realtor, any attorneys).
If the transaction hasn't closed, the fraudulent activity should put an immediate stop to it. Realtors and others affected can then institute their own fraud proceedings against the relatives.
2. As to the hospital, I'm concerned that someone "told me the diagnosing doctor had minimal training in the area and is not certified." Without knowing all the details, if the doctor incorrectly or without proper authorization prescribed meds, you have recourse to challenge the hospital and hold them responsible for the actions of the doctor, which they are. If the doctor is not a staff member but is a contracted employee, that complicates the issue, but the agency employing him as a contract doctor is responsible.
3. As to testifying in court, discuss this with the police and see if there's a way she can testify in front of a judge only because of her delicate mental state, but I do think that any attorney for the accused would still have the right to cross examine her, and could easily manipulate the situation to stress her out and confuse her.
4. The fact that she is confused would discredit her testimony, so all the paperwork supporting the fraud needs to be the primary source of those charges. The police can handle this, but I would also try to track down the other parties involved in the real estate and other purchases.
You might ask the police if there is an elder fraud task force that could become involved to assist. See my comment below on the Michigan Elder Law assistance as well.
5. Although I'm generally opposed to the use of medicine, in this case it might help orient and settle her, as it does seem as though the delusions will affect her ability to testify and/or other statements she makes, as well as your ability to protect her.
I think the idea of getting a full physical and mental workup is excellent, but I would tell her that the appointment is just to check the status of her arm and just make sure "everything else" is okay.
6. I'm afraid you may have to petition the court for guardianship. Perhaps the APS social worker can help you with this.
7. I would also ask the police about getting PPOs against the relatives who deceived and defrauded her. This could be problematic in that you don't have a DPOA, but perhaps the police can assist you since they're aware of the fraud charges. I don't know if law enforcement would request a PPO on behalf of an individual but it's worth a try. You can also ask the Elder Law of Michigan for any suggestions (again, see below).
8. The relative who changed your mother's address to hers may also be guilty of mail fraud. Contact the USPO mail fraud unit. I had to at one point and recollect that it might have been in DC. But go to the top and see if you can institute mail fraud proceedings. I think I spoke with the USPO Inspector General's office.
9. The removal of the license plate is probably some type of theft; notify the DMV or Secretary of State's office so that if the plate is put on another car, your mother isn't responsible. Notify the insurance agent as well. Last thing you want to have to deal with is an accident by the relative with your mother's plates on the car.
10. It occurs to me that the relative may also try to sell the car. I would raise this with the DMV or other agency, and/or ask someone from the Elder Law of Michigan (again, see below).
Since the SS number was changed, that's also a fraudulent activity, at the federal level. I see you've rectified that; was there any discussion of prosecution against the relatives?
11. If the wheelchair was a rental paid for by Medicare, notify them. Continued use of the wheelchair could be Medicare fraud. Even then, it's still a level of property theft. At least Medicare would be on notice to stop payment, and the DME supplier could institute its own proceedings against the relatives for theft. I suspect, however, that it's already been sold or maybe listed on Craig's List.
12. Babalou makes a good point about not changing the mailing address to your residence, but I think I would consider a PO box so the relatives can't go over to your mother's home and steal the mail.
13. Call Equifax at 800.525.6285 to place a fraud alert on your mother's credit file. You can place either an initial 90 day alert by phone or an extended alert (5 or 7 years - I don't remember for sure) in writing accompanied by a police report (necessary for the extended alert). Someone here sometime ago wrote of a security freeze, which might be an even better idea. I haven't placed one of these but am considering it.
It wouldn't hurt to notify your mother's banks, utility providers, and certainly credit card holders of the fraudulent activity. What you'll have to decide though is whether you want to use your contact information or hers, while adding your contact info as an alternate. That's what we've done.
14. Babalou raises an interesting question. If your mother's arm was broken by the relative, that could be grounds for an assault charge. I suspect the x-ray and interpretation would reflect whether there was anything like striking or twisting involved in the fracture. I'm not a medical person, but I think a fracture from an assault would present differently from a fracture incurred falling down the stairs. I can't help wondering if this was the precipitating factor to coerce your mother to make the bank account changes.
And if so, that's also another elder abuse charge. Bank security tapes might be helpful here.
15. Michigan has recently enacted an enhanced elder protection law but I haven't read it and don't know what it encompasses. That might give you some additional options.
16. We in Michigan do have an Elder Law of Michigan service which I've found to be very helpful. Income qualified individuals can get free legal advice. You don't need to provide income data to the extent that Medicaid requires it - just your mother's monthly SS amount. Website is: http://www.elderlawofmi.org/.
If you need an attorney's help in working on the testimony issue, they might be able to offer suggestions or referrals.
16. There's another possible charge against the relative for not getting medical care for the broken arm, assuming that the relative was aware of it. That's more evidence of elder abuse.
17. Do you know what the incidents were that precipitated the dementia hospitalization? Who called? Was it EMTs who brought her to the hospital? Or was it the relatives in an attempt to obfuscate the truth about their fraudulent activity?
I'm sure I'll think of other suggestions, but hopefully this will help you get started.
And do try to spend some down time just relaxing; this is more than just about anyone can deal with all at one time.
The hospital was wrong in not disclosing the extent of your mom's problems.
I actually agree with the folks who've told you to let her go to her own home and allow "something" to happen. With elders who don't trust the folks who are looking out for them (but trust the ones stealing their money), it is going to be very difficult to get her to agree to care, diagnosis, placement in a safe place, in short, any of the things that are to her benefit.
I would make sure that you do not change any of her bills to your address. You don't want it claimed that she resides with you. Make sure her rent, or mortgsge, or taxes on her home are being kept up to date.
The next time she ends up in the hospital, talk to the social worker IMMEDIATELY about having the hospital seek emergency guardianship. You want to make certain that other "friends" don't show up and sign her out, and then dump her.
I'm hoping others will have some ideas. Have you been in touch with Area Agency on Aging to find out what services she might get while recuperating, and when she goes home?
1. Never argue, instead agree
2. Never reason, instead divert
3. Never shame, instead distract
4. Never lecture, instead reassure
5. Never say 'remember', instead reminisce
6. Never say "I told you", instead repeat/regroup
7. Never say "You can't", instead do what they can
8. Never command/demand, instead ask/model
9. Never condescend, instead encourage
10. Never force, instead reinforce
I wish I had some wonderful answers for you, but I don't. I'd like to just give you a big HUG and wish you all the best with this terribly difficult situation.
I would simply make an appointment for the evaluation and take her. The neuropsych or psychiatrist ( talk to them beforehand) needs to be prepped about what's happened. Tell her that it's the only way her insurance will pay for rehab on her arm. Or some other therapeutic fib.
About the $$$ gone to worthless family & future Medicaid issues:
If you filed a police report on this & any other thefts, you need a copy of the police reports & court transcripts when you submit the medicaid application to get the Medicaid transfer penalty waived so they can qualify.
The elder care situation in this country is abominable. As far as getting the docs to talk to you about your mother's medications or diagnosis, good luck. I have medical AND financial POA & still have to jump thru a ton of aggravating hoops even in order to pay a BILL....as if a thief is going to try & pay someone's medical costs. Uh huh. The last person that wouldn't talk to me because of HIPAA laws (and if I NEVER hear that word again it will be a day too soon) I hung up on, saying Fine Then, I Won't Pay The Bill, Thank You. And I didn't pay the bill. When it went to collections, I put a note on the letter saying that he'd passed away & no longer lived at this address. Good luck to THEM now, trying to get $67 out of a dead man.
Again, I wish you good luck & godspeed trying to sort through the nightmare that's known as elder care, especially with dementia..........I wouldn't wish it on a dog.
This is a sad state of affairs and not in any way your fault.
Now, you could call 911 when she's hallucinating. They might see her as a danger to herself and by that means, you might get her a better psychiatric workup. Early in her course a vascular dementia, my mom had paranoid delusions and hallucinations and antipsychotics did nothing for them. They diminished over time. Of course, she was in facilities when this was happening, not at home.
Does your mom know what meds she's on? Wouldn't she like to go see a REAL psychiatrist and get rid of the inappropriate meds she was given in the hospital ? (Just trying to come up with a line for you to use)
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