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My 88 year old father has Parkinson's and was living at home with my mother. We had hospice care for him where nurse came a couple of times to help with medication management and an aide gave him shower/shave 2-3 times per week but he needed more and mother wasn't able to help so he got moved to nursing home. During the 5 day respite period, when my mother went to visit, they tried to leave (neither of them drive) and set off alarm. The nursing home says they can't manage him properly so they want to discharge him but hospice says he won't have proper care at his home with my mother and he has to have caregiver or be released to a facility that's further away that has a lock down facility. My sister is managing my dad's financials, paying household bills from his small pension & SS but my mother refuses to relinquish control of her small income and keeps buying stuff. Has anyone had this happen and what did you do?

Your father needs more care than the place he was moved into can provide. Good on them for recognizing it, being honest about it, and recommending another place. Your dad’s assets will pay toward his care, your mother will not be left without assets as she will be termed the “community spouse” as dad will need to go onto Medicaid to supplement what needs to be paid for his care. He can go into another place Medicaid pending until the application is complete. When my mother required Medicaid during an expensive nursing home stay, her entire SS check went toward her care, with Medicaid paying the rest. Dad lived in their own, keeping his SS in full, his retirement pension in full, along with their checking and savings (neither were huge) He had to sell one car and keep only one car. His lifestyle remained unchanged. I wish you well in transitioning dad to a new place and wading through the application process. We were blessed by a knowledgeable business manager who helped us tremendously
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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If the facility cannot place him in another facility through discharge planning they will have to return him to care. That will mean further assessment and he will need to be placed from Hospital, rehab or SNF facility.
Just make it clear that you are no no position to accept care of him and that you will not be able to accept him into your home, that the problem of placement must be theirs.
Hospice is correct. He will not have in home care via hospice. They only come for two bedbaths a week and one brief RN visit. That's it. Homegoing is not an option. They may find in facility hospice, tho that is becoming very rare indeed.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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