I have no kids, and no family or friends nearby and husband is overwhelmed at work and needs to focus there. Mom died May last year and it has been very tough, lonely, and scarey ever since. I am in my sixties. I feel I have been under spiritual attack at times.
Do you have a Realtor? It's their job to sell this house, not yours. It's what you pay them for.
I sold my parents' house last year, and it was probably the easiest part of dealing with their estate. Get a really good Realtor and make them earn their money. It's all the better if they specialize in estates, because they'll have contacts for companies to come in and do the estate sale, clean out what doesn't sell, and they'll also have contractors who can spruce it up for you. Many real estate companies now have programs where they'll loan you the money to do the fix-ups, then you pay them back out of the proceeds.
Just save all the receipts and copies of checks if you pay for anything to fix it up to sell, because it can all come off your taxes. I just came from my tax appointment to do the FINAL tax return for my parents' trust, and I was very pleased to learn that little tidbit.
Maybe therapy will help, as you stated husband is busy and you have no friends.
Any chances of going places to make new friends or get involve in something, job, volunteering?
You go onto say, “I have no kids, no family or friends nearby, husband is overwhelmed at work. Mom died in May of last year. You are lonely and scared and feel like you are under spiritual attack.”
Tell us what are you most concerned about, the sale of the house or the other things that you have mentioned. You seem to be stuck and not sure where to go from here.
An agent can sell the home. How long has the home been on the market?
Maybe you should make an appointment with a licensed therapist to discuss the other issues that you are struggling with. Nothing will improve by itself.
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. You are grieving and I bet this has magnified all of your other issues.
Sometimes, husbands don’t know how to handle or help their wives. He isn’t a therapist and according to you he has a lot of responsibilities at his job. All the more reason to speak with a therapist who will help you find the tools to heal.
Wishing you peace as you move forward in your life.
You probably should seek out a good therapist so you can work through the issues causing you this anxiety as no this isn't normal, and then find a good realtor that will take the ball and run with it, and sell her house, so you can get on with living and enjoying your life.
You know that your mom wouldn't want you all stressed out over her house and stuff, nor does God, so turn it over to Him and start enjoying your life again.
You are right.. I know that Mom would not want to see me like this. I know God tells us not to worry but I don't seem to be able to stop. I try to turn it over to Him but can't seem to as I want this situation to be over. I realize that may not be His will and it scares me. I am worn down. I thank everyone here for their care and concern. It is good to have people to talk to about all this.
Offload, hire out, delegate.
Other strategies I use are to do half as much, or allow myself twice as long.
Your can't sell half a house.. and you don't want to extend things any longer so I would suggest hiring out (as Alva suggested). Everything you can.
Ask your agent. What service can pack up the house? Sort it, donate etc & clean? Provide staff to be present for viewings? How would viewings & a sale be conducted for an out of state or overseas client? Do like that.
Take the personal items you want. Take photos if you wish. Walk through the rooms. Say goodbye & thankyou to the house if you wish too.
Then release this house to agent, to sell to the next family.
The thought of doing this with my folks' place one day is a crushing nightmare to be very honest. I have siblings but they will be unable to help. I will hire it all out to make the task as streamlined & quick as possible. If it comes down to my life vs sucumbing to house stress - I choose my life.
Wishing you the contacts & help you need.
Then renewed energy for the task to find a new place, to fit in & attach to.
He has been over several times, but I haven't made anything definitive yet
Now that it is Spring, I think that it would be a good time to list the house, once and for all.
I see a house in the neighborhood that seemed to be sold within weeks, but I don't know what kind of prep work they did.
My mother died in March 2020, and I've been looking at places to relocate.
There's a lot of new construction being done where I live, as these homes were built in the 1950s. Some have been renovated, and some totally torn down and large new houses built
I understand your anxiety, as I share it however I would very much like to downsize to an area more conducive to senior people. I am currently 68 years old, and things are always breaking in the house. Last year I had new sidewalks and a new driveway installed
Also had a leaky kitchen faucet and two new toilets installed
Last year part of the underground sprinkler broke, and I just had a section replaced, as tree roots were overgrowing the lines and damaging them.
I was told that the whole system is getting old, and they weren't sure how long the repairs would last.
Moving is such an enormous thing to tackle, but I do not want to put any more money into this house, and just need to make that call to list it with a realtor
Ive had vague cash offers ...with no definite price set, and I didn't pursue it.
I really think that it would be worth the realtors commission, to just have them in my court, a d take some of the emotion out of this thing
My very best to you.....I feel the same way that the house is a burden, and I just wish that I could get up the courage to list it for sale, once a d for all!
Make it fun for yourselves. Look at homes that are comps (comparable) to yours, see what they are going for, and etc. Talk with folks about what realtor they used and liked. They will help you figure out value of home and guide you every step of the way.
Hire a new realtor. Your current realtor isn’t up to par. Selling a home wouldn’t be this stressful if you had a realtor who handled things properly.
This guy working for you is incompetent. Someone from his office needs to be at every showing, because it is HIS responsibility that the house is locked, the A/C off, etc.
Speak with someone you know who has EVER sold a home. There must be many, whether at your faith based community, a senior community or even in your grocers. Time to get out and get talking with folks. The internet will be full of what information you need as well, on what to expect of a realtor.
Again, sure do wish you lots of luck.
Here’s a big hug! I also agree with others posting here who recommend you get another realtor that you can trust. It will lift the burden from your shoulders and you’ll get a MUCH needed mental break because you’ll feel that a “professional” is in charge.