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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I don't know who you're talking about, but it definitely sounds like this person is depressed and may need help medication-wise and possibly counseling. Maybe with a little more information - we can give you better advice. Good luck!!
Her room is decorated with lots of memories . I feel I took her independence away but for the three weeks before we moved her when I would call her she was crying and saying she wishes she was dead and she was so lonely so I thought moving her to my house would make her happy
Sounds like adjustment period is needed and it will take patience on your part. Have frank conversation with her and ask her what she wants and what would make things better. Will she be happier back in her home with in home caregiver assistance? Is she open to hiring regular help? Is she willing to see you less if she moves back? These are the discussions you need to have with her.
Secondly, try to get her involved in activities, local senior center...make her go. Maybe first day or so, you go with her, get involved in a card game, exercise class or lunch there. She will follow along or just stand there and watch if she ornery but do it anyway. Strike up conversation with director and other seniors there. They sometimes run a bus and will pick her up.
Next, get involved in church senior groups where she can meet new friends. Start a book club or bridge lunch, etc where you can invite some other women her age to come for lunch, dinner whatever (some dont like to drive at night) or happy hour and serve light refreshments, where she can develop new friends and new activities and can slowly let go of her old situation and develop new habits.
You might also get her counseling with someone with expertise dealing with elders and their issues.
Good luck and I hope she comes around in time. I think she will.
Ask her doctor about putting her on an anti~anxiety med. like Buspar (non~addicting). My mom's doc put her on that a month ago and it was like night and day difference! The effect was dramatic, and made it so much easier to deal with her. (I could help but think, wow, she should have been on this years ago!)
She was unhappy when in her own home, too. She is depressed, and needs medication and counselling. On this site, you will discover a hundred people whose loved one turned around once they got the correct medication.
You need to understand that it may be impossible to "make her happy." That's what we want to do, but sometimes, when someone is old or in pain or dying, it may require divine intervention. You can keep her safe, make sure she is physically and medically taken care of, and let her know you love her. If you do all that and she's still unhappy, you have done your best and you need to leave her happiness in God's hands.
Your emotional task is to sit beside her in her unhappiness, and let her know you care. God bless you as you do this hard job.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Do you have her room decorated with her favored possessions? We found this to be very helpful with my Mom.
Secondly, try to get her involved in activities, local senior center...make her go. Maybe first day or so, you go with her, get involved in a card game, exercise class or lunch there. She will follow along or just stand there and watch if she ornery but do it anyway. Strike up conversation with director and other seniors there.
They sometimes run a bus and will pick her up.
Next, get involved in church senior groups where she can meet new friends. Start a book club or bridge lunch, etc where you can invite some other women her age to come for lunch, dinner whatever (some dont like to drive at night) or happy hour and serve light refreshments, where she can develop new friends and new activities and can slowly let go of her old situation and develop new habits.
You might also get her counseling with someone with expertise dealing with elders and their issues.
Good luck and I hope she comes around in time. I think she will.
You need to understand that it may be impossible to "make her happy." That's what we want to do, but sometimes, when someone is old or in pain or dying, it may require divine intervention. You can keep her safe, make sure she is physically and medically taken care of, and let her know you love her. If you do all that and she's still unhappy, you have done your best and you need to leave her happiness in God's hands.
Your emotional task is to sit beside her in her unhappiness, and let her know you care. God bless you as you do this hard job.