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When I first moved in with mom to take care of her with Dementia (or risk the hospital placing her somewhere) I did not know what was getting myself into. Our first Christmas (two years ago now) had her taking the great grandkids presents from under the tree and hiding them in her room. Having moved so many times she is a professional packer and can pack and hide objects like no other. Last year I did not decorate for anything. She keeps saying we need a tree but the stress of finding decorations missing or presents taken may not be worth the risk. The pros and cons of decorating for a holiday we both love is driving me crazy. I love knowing I am not going through so many of the same things others are and greatly appreciate this forum.

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Yes, put up a tree with some decorations, perhaps a small one on table, and safely enjoy. Just hide the real gifts until Christmas Eve but put empty gifts under the tree your mother can hide. I wish all readers a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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Putting up decorations can be exhausting. If you can figure a way to put up a little something, I would do it. Life is short and mom will enjoy it. When my mother passed we stopped putting up a big tree. We found a small table top tree that could be put up and taken down in minutes, and only put a few ornaments on it.

An alternative idea: Just buy a live decorated evergreen center piece for the table or table top living room area.
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Put up a tree w/minimal decoration. Will at least be festive. Don't put any gifts under the tree - hide them in your room. You could wrap some empty boxes for under the tree - big ones. Then if she tries to hide them, easy to find and return to under the tree...or not. Leave them in her room
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I love to decorate for the holidays too. Maybe a tree for mom with non-breakable and inexpensive ornaments (think dollar stores) and fake presents underneath. Then, she can play Santa and hide presents without worries. You can even make it a game to have her put the same number of presents back under the tree.
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I'd put up a tree and get some cheap, non breakable ornaments (like plastic balls instead of glass) on it. If she takes them then, no big deal. Maybe even put some giftwrapped empty boxes under it and keep the real presents hidden in your room.
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Sure put up the tree and decorate, when decorations start disappearing, change the holiday to Easter and do the decoration hunt.😊
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When my niece was small her parents would put their tree in a playpen LOL! Well, that might be a bit extreme for you but maybe a small tree with plastic ornaments would satisfy her. And why not wrap up some empty decoy presents and keep the real ones hidden until Christmas Day?

When Mom went into AL I put up her tree every year, hung all her old ornaments, put out lots of familiar decorations. It was a lot of work and she did appreciate it. But then I realized she would have been happy with just a token tree, she had really forgotten she had most of the decorations. So the last year I kept it simple, saving me a lot of time and aggravation and she was just as happy.
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pstarkey89: Keep it simple. It may not be worth the effort to do otherwise.
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I've seen folks put little fences around Christmas trees to keep their pets or toddlers away. Maybe that would work with Mom as well.
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As annoying as putting up a tree or decorations might be, they also mark the passing of time and do a little to indicate that we're at a particular time of the year.

I would say it matters, no matter how small the effort you make.
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bundleofjoy Dec 2021
yes pstarkey!! :) :) do it!!
everyone loves xmas trees, xmas decorations...
there are also miniature xmas trees :).
nice xmassy colors.

at whatever age, it looks beautiful. :)
warms the heart :).
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Why not make a collage of greeting cards? I would NOT put up a tree or lights which can be destroyed or hidden or possibly cause some other harm. And perhaps get her a stuffed toy dressed in a Christmas outfit. And if you got a tiny tree, you could hang paper ornaments (not the ones that break).
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How about get her a small inexpensive 2ft tree or dollar tree tree for her room with some lights? Or how about some cheap dollar tree ornaments you give her 1 a night or one every couple of days to hang on her tree. She might be thrilled.
Then do a tree in the common area. Maybe if she has her own little tree and ornaments, she won't try to hoard items from the main tree. Only you know if she would still do that. Or maybe put it up, and only put ornaments on the main tree Christmas eve, or Christmas morning. Make it pretty for the grand kids.
When they get dementia, they get like little kids. They want what they want, now. So maybe she wants Christmas for herself. They just think what is immediately pleasureable, and want it.

Id keep gifts hidden so she can't take off with them. Good luck.
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I have downsized considerably from the huge tree with all the trimmings but I still LOVE looking at my beautiful 3 ft tree. You say you both love the holiday, then by all means decorate with a simple tree - maybe just a ton of lights which looks lovely. (Keep the gifts in another part of the house and put them out just before they're ready to be opened) as someone else suggested.
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If it’s something she is asking for and something you both enjoy I think a tree and some decorations are an important thing to do. It doesn’t have to look the same as it has in the past, perhaps a smaller tree or just lights and maybe some ribbon chains or as someone else suggested just enough inexpensive and non sentimental ornaments from Walmart or something for her to hide (why take away that need entirely) presents in your room or somewhere she out of sight and mind. Then just before the greats get there add the ornaments you want to the tree and put the presents under it so she doesn’t have time to hide them for safety. After the family leaves remove the valuable ornaments again and enjoy the lights and chains. It sounds like the season and decorating for it brings you both joy don’t deprive yourself or your mom of that. I know I love the season and have to have some festive decorations around me but I have learned over the years that it doesn’t have to be the same each year. Have a wonderful Holliday!
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Go out and buy a huge package of inexpensive plastic ornaments from Walmart. They look nice, are unbreakable and won’t cause any other problems.

Give her packing tasks to kee her busy and happy.
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I’d consider getting a smaller tree even one of those tabletop tree decorated with lights and a few ornaments - don’t use any that are extra special that you don’t want to risk them going missing. Dollar stores and the such have cute ornaments that will give holiday spirit without the worry of having a lot of special ornaments possibly disappear or break
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I don't know if you can get this in time for Christmas, but this has taken the stress out of my life regarding Christmas decoration. The pop-up tree. It's got lights and is fully decorated with the ornaments and decorations ATTACHED to the tree. One link is below and you can get it thru Amazon
https://www.brylanehome.com/products/fully-decorated-pre-lit-6-ft.-pop-up-christmas-tree/301164401.html?glCountry=US&glCurrency=USD&utm_source=google&utm_medium=ps_pla&utm_campaign=[ADL]+[PLA]+Smart+Shopping+-+Holidays+-+Seasonal+Christmas&utm_content=Smart+Shopping+-+Holidays+-+Seasonal+Christmas&utm_term=&affiliate_id=049&affiliate_location_id=01&utm_adid=pla-1435399935302x131364986554x14942498289&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIps_C1KPh9AIVi8mUCR1IOAGYEAQYASABEgKJ3fD_BwE
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Perhaps a tree that is made of lights would be a compromise. I have just bought (for a very different reason) one which is like a wigwam of acrylic strips which have lights within them - no need to decorate - not quite the same as the real tree with years of collected ornaments, but a tree that will work as a centrepoint. Something like this.
https://www.ebay.com/itm/154730816532?hash=item2406ace414:g:vNoAAOSwdBthqYVL
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Cover99 Dec 2021
LOL
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Me, I would not put up a tree unless you decorate it with cheap ornaments. I would not bring out my good stuff. My Mom had a room and bath in our lower level. I did put my Ceramic tree down there. We had our yearly one in our living room.
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The only way to get out of this is to just have some tree and have fake boxes underneath it while you stuff the real presents in your own room or one behind lock and key, then drag them out day of and hope it doesn't trigger her.
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What about one of those ceramic christmas trees? You can glue down the plastic lights so they won’t get lost.

https://www.amazon.com/Brightown-Christmas-Artificial-Decoration-Multicolored/dp/B07X95Z2R9/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=3H0Z8YHMB0HVE&keywords=ceramic+christmas+tree&qid=1639162707&sprefix=Ceramic+%2Caps%2C225&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&smid=A3TRZ4GGY4G6HJ&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzSlFZWkJTNzM1VFQ3JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNTY0OTc3MjhZQkJZOVpSQlE2RCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwODYwMDc0MklVNDhWVkFENERBRiZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=
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Why bother??? I'm not decorating and my mom doesn't even hide things. It's just too much work when our lives are already busy and stressful. Maybe put up a few simple things and call it a day.
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Cover99 Dec 2021
Exactly, plus real trees are usually tossed out for the next waste collection
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Of course you should put up your Christmas decorations! It's the most wonderful time of the year(to me anyway) and needs to be celebrated accordingly, of course while remembering first and foremost the real reason for the season.
You can keep it simple if you are concerned with mom hiding the décor, and you can keep the presents hidden yourself until Christmas Eve or even Christmas day if needed.
So get that tree out today and have fun decorating it with your mom.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
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Cover99 Dec 2021
With presents and families that tire of each other shortly after it is over. Merry Christmas indeed
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