I have a client that I work with in doing in-home care that is asking if I will go to Bible study with her. She says this is kind of a recovery group.
We previously went to church on Thanksgiving, and it got kind of weird when they did the grape juice and cracker ritual and I wouldn't take it because I don't like to take food or drink from people I don't know especially since I live in a bad area.
I think she took this as a not wanting to be a part of the church.
Personally I don't really identify with a religion and I feel like this crosses a weird professional personal line. My company supports doing whatever clients want so long as client and caregiver are happy.
I'm ok with it I think, but feel anxious and like I'm doing something wrong as I've always went along with you shouldn't even share your religion, political views or other controversial opinions with your clients in case you lose them or cause issues.
But will this lead to us being too comfortable with each other as we already are?
I told them I would ask my company to be sure I won't lose my license over it. She insisted we would tell them we just went shopping.
Isn't it also a part of caregiving to care for your client's religious needs as well? Or does this cross a line?
What are your thoughts?
I don’t like communion either.
But there's also nothing wrong with your declining to participate in services or socialization afterwards. You're there with your client, not as a member of the congregation, so just explain there's a professional boundary you have to keep and tell her what's important to you is helping her to stay active.
- Having transport?
- Having transport + a caregiver for nearby assistance? (Either waiting in the lobby or sit quiety at the back)
- Having a companion who also engages in the activity. (Like a friend would)
I politely refused a LO's request for regular transport to their chosen worship as I could see potential mission creep into territory I was definately not wishing to be part of. (I felt an expectation/wish that I would join - I chose to help my LO in other ways instead).
However, if I was a paid Support Worker, I would consider attending the group if eg communication or behavioir support was required. Maybe social skills support is required a few times to introduce & get comfortable? To help them break the ice. Then you could step back & wait in the lobby.
It is a fine line to *support* but not be a *friend* with clients. Some may attach strongly & then be devastated when their *friend* abandons them for a different job.
This client may even wish to hire a different Support Worker, of that faith, specifically for trips to Church or Bible Study.
Some of the caregivers sat with him, others waited in the lobby. None of them participated in services, but were invited to eat the meal/snack served afterwards.
I certainly agree with CM that lying to your agency about where you are transporting her is a line you don't want to cross.
If this church group is the kind that I think it might be where 'recovery' is part of it, they can get very insistent and pushy with the "non-believer". It's like their mission in life to bring them into the flock.
That kind of thing would never happen in temple. The Catholics don't go there either.
The OP should definitely not lie to the homecare agency about it though. They couldn't care less. Their only concern like the pimps they are is making sure she brings that money in.
I would politely say that you have no intention to take part in the service.
She should respect your views on this matter. No one should expect you to believe whatever they believe.
You don’t have to hide the fact that you are bringing her to church to your employer. Why would they care about you taking her to church?
On the other hand, you can choose to participate to a limit and then you'd have something to talk about with her later. It's up to you, but know your boundaries and make them clear.
Explain that you will not participate in any of the ceremony or ritual though. You are a ride and companionship brining her because it's part of your job to take her to social outings. Any kind of religious service where people gather is social.
I used to take an old lady client I had years ago to the Italian mass that the church had on Wednesday mornings. I'm Jewish but I never saw it as a problem. I was Catholic for most of my life and I speak Italian. It made her happy and I was glad to do it.
It won't hurt you to just take her to her bible study or church. You don't want to be part of her church and maybe you did not make that clear to her. Make it clear to the people at church that it isn't your thing. They will probably get pushy and insistent because some of the faithful make it their personal mission in life to spread the Word and get people to join. Tell them you're Jewish and that usually stops them in their tracks. They'll leave you alone.
I'm sorry you had to spend your Thanksgiving at work. Maybe you should have told them that at the actual Thanksgiving there was no grape juice or crackers. The Indians who saved everyone from dying that winter for no other reason than these were people that needed help and it was the right thing to do, couldn't have cared less about the "Word" they'd never heard anyway.
Wedding day is here, all us girls in the wedding party were not catholic or baptized so we were not allowed to take the wine n cracker. We crossed our arms over our chests, bowed our heads and the priest blessed us.
All the men were baptized. They all got their wine and cracker and a blessing.
If your company allows you to take her places, and you’re insured, go ahead. She needs to socialize. If she’s trying to convert you into taking up a religion, tell honestly, I do have my beliefs, and I am blessed. Thank you. No, I don’t believe in talking about it. I see people naturally for who they are. They u hope they see me for who I am.
Just be nice, courteous and caring.
I’m still working on it. Don’t have it quite yet, but I’m getting there.
I would make it clear to your elder that you are more than willing to attend her church but that your faith is a personal matter to you that isn't up for discussion, that you aren't a member of her church and won't be participating in the services.
And a little church going never hurt any of us, I figure. It's a lovely outing for your client, and brings her close to her much loved community.
Best out to you.
The cracker and grape juice was Communion. Its the blood and body of Christ. Since you did not understand the purpose of Communion, then it was OK not to participate.
Since you are not a member of the church you are not expected to participate in any rites they have.
If you are paid from 9am to 5pm and if your client is cognizant in theory the client can ask you to help her in any way. This may mean attending a service but it does not mean you have to participate nor convert.
YOU are not sharing YOUR religion, personal views or beliefs or political stance, SHE is sharing hers with you.
If you feel uncomfortable in the church or even attending you can bring her in, if she needs help getting in, then you can go sit in the car and when you see people leaving you can go in and get her.