I have a situation with mom regarding her care. I have health care power of attorney for mom as specified in her living trust as well as financial Durable Power of Attorney. My sister has placed mom in an Independent Living facility far away from me without my consent or approval and has coerced mom to remove me from the primary designated agent on mom's Advance Health Care directive in her Living Trust. I believe my sister has also removed me as Mom's financial decision maker and has taken over her bank account and is spending money without consideration for mom's best interest. Mom has dementia and I know that she needs at the very least, trained Assisted Living not independent living with a service coming in to help out. I have attempted to settle differences with my sister by both meeting and resolving our differences face-to-face or by mediation, however she refuses to talk directly to me. My sister is planning on returning to her home in Northern California soon, and I am concerned about mom after my sister leaves. I feel that she needs to be closer to me since I live in Irvine (Orange County, CA) and I need to be in charge of her health care and financial decisions since this was mom's original intent prior to being diagnosed with dementia.
I will proceed forward with seeking the assistance of an attorney, and since this is a special circumstance, does anyone have any recommendations for the type of attorney that I will need? Elder Law, Family attorney or something else? Any suggestions would greatly be appreciated.
I went to an Elder attorney, but the laws are so new in our state regarding Elder Financial Abuse, that he was charging us for doing research. We can do that ourselves.
Be prepared that you can spend literally thousands of dollars bringing charges against your siblings, and nothing will happen. That is just the reality.
I ended up choosing to walk away from my family of origin, am getting extremely helpful counseling to manage it all for myself. It is not worth the heartache or the money.
If your Mother wants your help, your result may be different. Good luck.
At this point get a lawyer who only does elder law. (not the local nice guy who does it all in your neighborhood) They will help you navigate the system and give you sound advice about everything you need to do. Your lawyer will also let you know if they think the court might appoint someone else to handle your Moms affairs - which can happen. But since your Mom has dementia, at this point she needs guardianship.
See All Answers