I have a situation with mom regarding her care. I have health care power of attorney for mom as specified in her living trust as well as financial Durable Power of Attorney. My sister has placed mom in an Independent Living facility far away from me without my consent or approval and has coerced mom to remove me from the primary designated agent on mom's Advance Health Care directive in her Living Trust. I believe my sister has also removed me as Mom's financial decision maker and has taken over her bank account and is spending money without consideration for mom's best interest. Mom has dementia and I know that she needs at the very least, trained Assisted Living not independent living with a service coming in to help out. I have attempted to settle differences with my sister by both meeting and resolving our differences face-to-face or by mediation, however she refuses to talk directly to me. My sister is planning on returning to her home in Northern California soon, and I am concerned about mom after my sister leaves. I feel that she needs to be closer to me since I live in Irvine (Orange County, CA) and I need to be in charge of her health care and financial decisions since this was mom's original intent prior to being diagnosed with dementia.
I will proceed forward with seeking the assistance of an attorney, and since this is a special circumstance, does anyone have any recommendations for the type of attorney that I will need? Elder Law, Family attorney or something else? Any suggestions would greatly be appreciated.
The website AVVO may be helpful to find an elder law attorney with a significant part of their practice in litigation. I would think that first the attorney would request the POA's from sis. Determine whether they are valid anytime (standing) or if they become valid upon your Mom's incapacity (springing). Check you POA to determine whether there is a requirement that Mom is incapacitated prior to going into effect. If so, most will require that there are letters from two doctors stating Mom's incapacity. So many POA's do not understand the springing concept and will not carry out their responsibilities appropriately or lawfully.
Good Luck.
If you have evidence of your sister mis-managing mum's funds raise it with them. (Do you think she's 'saving money' by putting mum in independant living place? It is fristrating when siblings who are not about for much of tge time make decisions based on how parents behave on their infrequent visits. It is a snapshot, not a realistic assessment.
I am just confused how she has 'co-erced' a dementia patient into overiding in place PoEs etc?
Don't attorneys in US have duty of care?
Seems very strange.
Where was your mum staying prior to your sister moving her?
If it was a home, your existing PoE etc would have been in place, so unless you were found to be incompetent, I strongly question why any attorney overturned this, or why the home released her?
Were you not seeing your mum regularly?
Were you not aware of your sister planning all this?
Could you not have got Adult Protection Services involved?
The whole point of PoEs etc is that vulnerable people be protected. If you can find out who signed these new PoAs they should be asked why they overrode existing PoAs for someone clearly not compis mentis??
PoA is responsible for looking after her finances, so again, Adult Protection Services should be contacted.
This is very sad that siblings become so divided.
There are two sides to every story. Perhaps your sister disagreed with how you were looking after mum. Siblings can have very different ideas on care.
Mum needs to be close enough for at least one of you to visit. This does not make sense. Was the previous home clise to you? Was it good?
It can be exhausting. I hope you find peace somehow.