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Good evening, this my first time on the forum and I am I need some of some suggestions. Me and my nephew are at a loss. My sister is 78 and has copd, she is Florida and is in really bad situation. I was not able to get in touch with her. I am in NJ. My nephew lives near my sister and went to check in on her. He said she is not doing well, she's been in the hospital a few times this year, but they keep releasing her and she has no one to help her. I am flying down to Florida this week and was wondering what my options are? She needs to be in the hospital and I am not sure how to make sure they do not release her again to go home and suffer. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

If your sister has dementia, you need to have nephew call the APS as an emergency. It sounds as though your sister is quite ill. APS will assess her and will place her in the hospital if she is critical. They will assess her health, mentation and ability to live alone at home or not with diagnosis in the hospital.

If her son, your nephew, cannot function for your sister, is unable to help her or have her be cooperative, AND you sister is mentally capable of her own decisions, then there is little that can be done. She well may die at home alone of her COPD combined with age. I am uncertain if you think that a few more weeks months or even years in a nursing home is a better option? For most of us, given the suffering of COPD, it would not be.

You should, if sister is competent and not demented, ask her if she would consider palliative care or hospice care now.

Basically you cannot know her condition without a medical assessment and diagnosis for both physical and mental health. I am so sorry. You do not mention the age of your sister's son, but this is basically in his hands at this time, and the state (via APS intervention) may take it on in state guardianship if nephew is unable.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Your sister may have COPD but if she isn't cognitively impaired then she gets to make the decision to leave the hospital. You going down there is a good idea. She needs to assign someone as her PoA. She needs to understand that if she doesn't do this, then the county will take her case before a judge and assign a guardian -- a stranger -- to manage all her affairs and make all decisions about her care. If this doesn't incite her to assign a PoA then you will need to stand by and watch the train wreck because you'll have no legal power to make her do anything against her will.

I wish you success in helping her get appropriate care.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Your sister cannot stay in the hospital indefinitely! She needs to either go back home with caregivers in place or be placed in Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing care, depending on her care needs. If she's suffering, she needs a hospice evaluation as well to see if she qualifies. Hospice nurses and CNAs can come to her in home or in AL or any other managed care setting. Morphine greatly relieves struggled breathing and hospice can dole that out to her.

I hope you can help your sister find the help she needs when you get down to FL to see her. Best of luck.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Rgocean Nov 16, 2024
Thank you so much for your response, she was in the hospital a couple months ago and was diagnosed with COPD. My nephew who is my deceased brothers son, sad she is not eating, using her oxygen and expectorating lots of phlegm. We are going to drive her to the hospital on Thursday and talk to them and see what can be done. She cannot live alone and have a nurse visit will not help, since she needs help. I would hope we can get the hospital to call in someone to make the hospice evaluation. This is really heartbreaking and I am very sad.
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Thank you so much for your response, she was in the hospital a couple months ago and was diagnosed with COPD. My nephew who is my deceased brothers son.
what is APS? She has told many times in the past year she just wants to die and suffer like she is.
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slkcma Nov 16, 2024
Hi Rgocean,
APS is Adult Protective Services
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