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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Address it as if it were an addiction. Take an honest self-inventory, admit you have a problem, and try to rectify or past behavior without excuses of any kind. Having a big slice of humble pie also comes with the territory, but don't humiliate yourself in the process as it might cause you to "hole up" and keep you from asking for the help that now you sorely need.
In American society, we learn from an early age to "stay out of trouble by keeping to ourselves," "mind our own business," "live and let live," blah, blah, blah. But unless we are hermits, we have to be social. When we don't know how to play this balancing act, there's always the possibility we might shun or rub people the wrong way.
You can't please everybody and not everybody is going to like you. But it pays to be civil when you can't be nice all the time. ... At least it keeps some doors open for when you need it most.
If you are talking about you needing help just be a joyful person and say thanks for what they do for you if you are able to make cookies or knit something that would be nice but a thank you for your time is just fine people who help others do get a joy from what they are doing-it must be hard to let go of doing everything for yourself that is why extended families worked so well in the 30 and 40's.
Did I just go west with your question or didn't you originally say something about "feeling sorry for yourself now that you need help (caregiving)?" If I missed the boat entirely, please forgive me. The last thing I want to do is offend you or anyone else in this forum. Mil perdones.
It looks like I misunderstood from going to your wall it seems you are the caregiver one of the ways to help yourself is what you are doing reach out to us here most of us are going through it or have and you will get much support and if you can join a near-by support group that would also help-but for now vent and lean on us but try to do something good for yourself each day and keep in touch.
Thank you for trying you are all great. I was talking about my dad's fosus on negatives and how much harder it is to get on w/o car etc. I use no..w idea of telll me what you are grateful for first
Depression in the elderly is common; I can honestly say that all the elderly relatives in my family have had it and dealth with differently - healthy ways and unhealthy ways. For my parents - when they were able, they volunteered to do things for others. It helped that they could go TOGETHER. Once Mom was alone, it was another story. At 90 she's on a low dose antidepressant to relieve her anxiety.
The elderly are often isolated due to - like your dad - loss of a car, inability to walk or wheel around easily. Is it possible to get him involved in a seniors program where they meet for cards or pool/billiards? What about gardening with him - fresh air and some sunshine do wonders a couple of times a week. There are dial-a-ride services in many counties and some even take regular routes. my uncle used to just get on and ride around for an hour. He'd get off at a stop, stroll around then get on when it came back and then go home.
Fighting depression with my mom has been the hardest thing of all - it's not something you can fix with a pill or a quick treatment. It ebbs and wanes depending on the season and events that happen to the elder and among his/her group of friends and family. What worked last month might not work this month. As long as you keep trying but understand that they have to meet you part way; don't get so sucked in that you too get pulled into the blues
For yourself - take some time to catch your breath - stop for coffee and turn off your phone. Slip in to the bookstore, grab a comfy chair and flip through a magazine - take a hobby class that distracts your mind and gets you physically out of the house. Also don't be afraid to ask for respite volunteers or for help from family - even a few hours a week is important to keep you emotionally and physically healthy. Best of luck!
When things were hard for me with my husband and we were able to have aides come to the house I would go out for an ice cream cone it felt good doing something for just me and w7 I hope you are able to get away for a few hours try not to react to his negative talking if you do not respond he may stop-are you able to go into another room when he starts-do you have someone you can talk to when things get bad we all want to help you caregiving is so hard and can really get you down but do try to have some alone time for yourself otherwise if you are running on empty you will not be helpful to him-does he have any interest.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Address it as if it were an addiction. Take an honest self-inventory, admit you have a problem, and try to rectify or past behavior without excuses of any kind. Having a big slice of humble pie also comes with the territory, but don't humiliate yourself in the process as it might cause you to "hole up" and keep you from asking for the help that now you sorely need.
In American society, we learn from an early age to "stay out of trouble by keeping to ourselves," "mind our own business," "live and let live," blah, blah, blah. But unless we are hermits, we have to be social. When we don't know how to play this balancing act, there's always the possibility we might shun or rub people the wrong way.
You can't please everybody and not everybody is going to like you. But it pays to be civil when you can't be nice all the time. ... At least it keeps some doors open for when you need it most.
Be well my friend, and keep us in the loop.
-- ED
Did I just go west with your question or didn't you originally say something about "feeling sorry for yourself now that you need help (caregiving)?" If I missed the boat entirely, please forgive me. The last thing I want to do is offend you or anyone else in this forum. Mil perdones.
-- ED
The elderly are often isolated due to - like your dad - loss of a car, inability to walk or wheel around easily. Is it possible to get him involved in a seniors program where they meet for cards or pool/billiards? What about gardening with him - fresh air and some sunshine do wonders a couple of times a week. There are dial-a-ride services in many counties and some even take regular routes. my uncle used to just get on and ride around for an hour. He'd get off at a stop, stroll around then get on when it came back and then go home.
Fighting depression with my mom has been the hardest thing of all - it's not something you can fix with a pill or a quick treatment. It ebbs and wanes depending on the season and events that happen to the elder and among his/her group of friends and family. What worked last month might not work this month. As long as you keep trying but understand that they have to meet you part way; don't get so sucked in that you too get pulled into the blues
For yourself - take some time to catch your breath - stop for coffee and turn off your phone. Slip in to the bookstore, grab a comfy chair and flip through a magazine - take a hobby class that distracts your mind and gets you physically out of the house. Also don't be afraid to ask for respite volunteers or for help from family - even a few hours a week is important to keep you emotionally and physically healthy.
Best of luck!