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LO wears hearing aids and has dementia. Diagnosed multi infarct dementia 4 years ago. Now when we ask her something or respond to something she says, she acts like she can’t hear us -but hearing aids work fine at the audiologist- seems more like she can’t comprehend. By the time we repeat what we said or explain a different way she forgets where it all started. Anyone have this experience?

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I am sure I answered this before.

Its not that she can't hear, its that she can't process and yes may not be able to comprehend. Keep everything simple. Don't try to carry on a conversation. Let her lead and give short answers. I told the staff at the hospital to call me about anything that needed to be explained about Moms care. I went in one day to find two student nurses jabbering away at what was going to happen to Mom next. I could tell by Moms face she had no idea what she was saying. I told the girls "You lost her after the first word". Which is what happens. They are trying hard to process what is being said and don't hear it all.
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I have read that it can take 45 seconds for a person with dementia to process what was said or asked, then formulate a response.
I don't know about you but in 45 seconds I can be on to a totally different subject. So conversations are often lost on people with dementia and when they finally do answer a question "we" look at them like .."what does that have to do with what I just said?"
Take your time. Speak distinctly and in a lower tone (high pitched voices are often lost when someone has a hearing problem) Look at the person, let them see your face as you talk. Facial cues are important.
Give someone plenty of time to answer and keep the questions simple
keep choices limited
do not continue talking and changing the subject while waiting for an answer.
You can rephrase a question if you do not get an answer BUT do not get frustrated and raise your voice or the pitch.
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I am absolutely having the same experience with my mom. For her, diminished processing affects not only her understanding of conversations, but also her visual perception. This is frustrating and frightening for her, and she is unable to understand or accept that these problems are a result of degenerative brain disease. Unfortunately, these problems have contributed to her feelings of isolation and loneliness because she is unable to participate in activities and conversations with her peers. I don't have advice to offer as I am still learning how to help and respond to my mom.
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Twice within this last year I was having a phone conversation with my mom (who lives next door to me) and there was normal back-and-forth. Then suddenly there was 1 word she could just not comprehend. A short, simple word. Even if I spelled it out or yelled it louder (it might have been "cat"). 1 word. It was the weirdest thing. She seemed so bewildered. I just said not to worry about it and moved on in the conversation. It happens very sporadically, but was really memorable when it did. Not sure what it means, I have no reason to believe she had a TIA but maybe slowly developing cognitive issues in a certain part of her brain? My best friend's mom had TIAs and lost her comprehension very slowly, first could not recognize nouns, then verbs, etc. So strange. Maybe try to see a neurologist who has experience with type of symptom and they may have some suggestions on how to learn how to communicate effectively with her in the future. I wish you answers and solutions!
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