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I am not a caregiver in this case. I am a concerned and frustrated neighbor. I live in Philadelphia in a connected home. My neighbor is about 80 y/o. She is a hoarder and I suspect she has dementia. She wails loudly all night long and it is affecting our sleep. Sometimes, late at night she sits on our attached porch, half-dressed, with urine running down the sidewalk.


I used to feel compassion but she has been so mean and verbally abusive to us that most compassion is gone.


She has standing water in her backyard that she willfully refuses to dump, and we are now seeing cockroaches in our home. She has a leaking roof which also affects the entire row of homes. She hates us and won’t allow us on her property to fix some damage on our home, caused by her neglect, which is causing one of our interior walls to disintegrate.


She he has a daughter and son who want nothing to do with her. The neighbors and I have called the Philadelphia Corporation for Aging, the police, the fire department and Licenses and Inspections and they won’t do anything. Some say they cannot enter her home. She is quite canny and lucid during the day and will make it sound like she is a pillar of society and that we are filled with hate and anger at this poor old woman.


We can’t even consider moving until we are able to fix our home.


It is 3am and I am at my wits end at the wailing and moaning. Thanks for letting me vent about this woman with grown children who won’t get her the help she needs.

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Just an idea, but when starts wailing at 3AM, have you tried calling 911? Tell EMS you’re afraid she’s hurt. They are mandated reporters and when they see her living conditions, they are required to report her.
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AlvaDeer Aug 2019
Great idea.
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This is neglect of a vulnerable elder, and you want Adult Protective Services rather than the Corporation for Aging. Here is the relevant web address:

http://www.dhs.pa.gov/citizens/reportabuse/dhsadultprotectiveservices/

(abuse includes neglect, by the way).

As you have already chased your tail down a number of blind alleys, you'd better get your evidence together first so that you don't get dismissed as a disgruntled neighbour.

Take photographs of the dilapidation to her home, and the standing water.
Record the night time concerts from your side of the wall (of course!).
Keep a journal of incidents for, say, one week.
Write a summary giving dates, contacts and details of the history of the problem so that APS can see how it's developed.

If this still doesn't start the ball rolling, you and your other affected neighbours are possibly going to have to start an action for nuisance. That might concentrate those children's minds, but let's hope it won't become necessary.
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Judyskid Aug 2019
Not everyone had great parents growing up. Maybe the kids were neglected. Now you think they should take care of her. You just never know.
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Record the night noises and video/pictures of the repairs that need to be made, bug infestation, standing water, as well as conversations with her. For some reason, some dementia patients are able to come off quite lucid and coherent at the exact time they need to. Recordings and documentation will show the flip side. Clearly she needs help and family is not doing her or you any favors.

You can share the info with adult protective to initiate work you need to do around your own house where it relates to her property. Hopefully, it will move forward from there.
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If you were to try to move or sell you would have to disclose this problem. You need now to ramp up. You have already called every conceivable entity out there. It is now time to get politicians, time to get mayoral office involved. Truly this needs to be a neighborhood effort and the emphasis must be on firstly, her own safety, secondly, the cleanliness, and etc.
All entities, and especially any that are political need a clear record of who you called, when you called. So if you need to call them again, do so and start your diary. You need to tell politicians that you will be going to Newspapers with how you tried to get help for your neighbor and were unable. This would allow family a suit against the city should she burn down her house with herself in it.

You need to be clear on issues they will respond to. They are basically safety and anything that could leave them with cost and legal issues. Not complaints about noise. When she is shrieking at night, call the police. Keep careful records. Get as many involved as you are able.
So sorry. Sounds a nightmare!
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Call in Environmental Health, and Adult Protective Services. She is clearly living in unsafe conditions for her which are spreading to be unsafe for others around. If this doesn't work call 911 in the middle of the night ( you will know which night) and say you are afraid she must have hurt herself from the noise and you do not have access to check.
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Are you calling the police at 3am when this is all occurring or are you waiting until daylight? You need to call when it’s happening so that the police can witness the behavior themselves.
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Have you called 911 while she is wailing in the wee hours of the morning and have them do a Welfare Check? They would have the right to have her placed in a 72 hour psych hold while she's evaluated. The children would be contacted about her and her living - if they don't step up, her property, assuming she's not released, would be abandoned. Is there a landlord involved? Could they be called? I'm just saying, it's not safe for her to live by herself by your statements and the State has to step in. Best of luck.
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Just a comment about this woman's daughter and son: hoarding (if it wasn't triggered by dementia) is a mental disorder and you cannot "logic" someone out of it. If her children don't have DPoA, I'm sure they have no power to change her situation or conditions. I was part of a team giving in-home end-of-life care to a woman (in her 40's) with cancer who was also a hoarder. She even had a young son. She absolutely would not let us take 1 thing from her filthy, packed home. I feel for you, and for your neighbor and her children. Wishing you success in getting things resolved soon.
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gdaughter Aug 2019
I'm guessing that was one of the cases that made you wonder why you ever got into this business...
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Adult protective services- they MUST come out and investigate within a certain time period. It is unannounced. Unfortunately, the laws state that people have a right to live independently even if they make poor decisions. Your recourse is to press charges if she’s breaking the law. And you’re right, Philadelphia Police don’t often get involved in this stuff unless a gun is involved and shots are fired. It’s simply just “neighbors arguing” and “disturbing the peace”.... I totally get it. No matter how UNsafe this lady is, unless she’s breaking the law, they don’t come.
Send your video to Fox29... call the Northeast Times, have other neighbors on the block call.... especially if there’s a half - naked woman urinating in public on your street!
Your quality of life is compromised. I’d talk to her kids and see if they have a plan. Ask them for a meeting. Tell them your concerns. They might agree completely with you and the other neighbors. They might feel
as if their hands are tied as well.
I wish you the best!
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Intherecliner Aug 2019
If the police in your area ignore your request for help, then maybe the ambulance is a better choice since she needs medical care.
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Great responses... and I add that if you continue to get no help, then I would take all the documentation and go to your local tv station reporter that works on stories like this. All these agencies will not like the spotlight on their neglect, nor will her kids. She isn’t your responsibility and those agencies and her family should be ashamed and shamed for this. Good luck, keep us posted.
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gdaughter Aug 2019
Oh no...I'm afraid of the answers to follow my own as this makes it sound like she already tried what I suggested without luck...
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