I am not a caregiver in this case. I am a concerned and frustrated neighbor. I live in Philadelphia in a connected home. My neighbor is about 80 y/o. She is a hoarder and I suspect she has dementia. She wails loudly all night long and it is affecting our sleep. Sometimes, late at night she sits on our attached porch, half-dressed, with urine running down the sidewalk.
I used to feel compassion but she has been so mean and verbally abusive to us that most compassion is gone.
She has standing water in her backyard that she willfully refuses to dump, and we are now seeing cockroaches in our home. She has a leaking roof which also affects the entire row of homes. She hates us and won’t allow us on her property to fix some damage on our home, caused by her neglect, which is causing one of our interior walls to disintegrate.
She he has a daughter and son who want nothing to do with her. The neighbors and I have called the Philadelphia Corporation for Aging, the police, the fire department and Licenses and Inspections and they won’t do anything. Some say they cannot enter her home. She is quite canny and lucid during the day and will make it sound like she is a pillar of society and that we are filled with hate and anger at this poor old woman.
We can’t even consider moving until we are able to fix our home.
It is 3am and I am at my wits end at the wailing and moaning. Thanks for letting me vent about this woman with grown children who won’t get her the help she needs.
How long have you been your neighbor? Was she always this way? Can you call a local mental hospital and report her as a danger to herself?
http://www.dhs.pa.gov/citizens/reportabuse/dhsadultprotectiveservices/
(abuse includes neglect, by the way).
As you have already chased your tail down a number of blind alleys, you'd better get your evidence together first so that you don't get dismissed as a disgruntled neighbour.
Take photographs of the dilapidation to her home, and the standing water.
Record the night time concerts from your side of the wall (of course!).
Keep a journal of incidents for, say, one week.
Write a summary giving dates, contacts and details of the history of the problem so that APS can see how it's developed.
If this still doesn't start the ball rolling, you and your other affected neighbours are possibly going to have to start an action for nuisance. That might concentrate those children's minds, but let's hope it won't become necessary.
You can share the info with adult protective to initiate work you need to do around your own house where it relates to her property. Hopefully, it will move forward from there.
All entities, and especially any that are political need a clear record of who you called, when you called. So if you need to call them again, do so and start your diary. You need to tell politicians that you will be going to Newspapers with how you tried to get help for your neighbor and were unable. This would allow family a suit against the city should she burn down her house with herself in it.
You need to be clear on issues they will respond to. They are basically safety and anything that could leave them with cost and legal issues. Not complaints about noise. When she is shrieking at night, call the police. Keep careful records. Get as many involved as you are able.
So sorry. Sounds a nightmare!
I dont know if she has always been like this, but for the past fifteen years, she has hated us. She is now in rapid decline. Evidence suggests that her children want little to do with her.
Some background. When we bought the land and built our townhome from the foundation up, after a gas explosion destroyed it, she hated the inconvenience of construction and wanted us to pay for her trip to Ireland plus room and board for the duration of construction. We didn’t, although we paid her thousands for a survey report that was never forthcoming. Since then, she has been antagonistic, to put it lightly. Our neighbors on the other side of this woman, rehabbed their home many years later. She is bothered by the newness and larger footprints of the dwellings surrounding her. This is my only remaining point of compassion.
Thank you again. I will report back!
County or Local Health Department for the Hoarding and standing water and for urinating on the porch, the police could also handle that. The Health Department would probably tell you to contact Building and Zoning for the roof that is leaking.
911 for the wailing in the middle of the night
Have you contacted Homeowners Association for any and all of these problems? I am sure that there are regulations that your HOA has that may even be stronger than the city, or county regulations. In most cases they would send a certified letter to the home owner and if the proper corrections were not made they would follow it up with a suit that would end up in court.
The only thing that my mam does not yet display is lack of decorum. She is well dressed most of the time. She appears lucid when you talk to her seriously. Sadly, because of having some "Capacity" the Social Services will not take her in hand. She's still treated as a person with rights and her wishes are respected. The Police are involved and many times - they've mentioned more care is needed. But UK Social Services will not do anything until she loses "Capacity" or poses as a physical danger to others.
Clearly in your case, the Lady has lost "Capacity" if she's half dressed and peeing herself.
Send your video to Fox29... call the Northeast Times, have other neighbors on the block call.... especially if there’s a half - naked woman urinating in public on your street!
Your quality of life is compromised. I’d talk to her kids and see if they have a plan. Ask them for a meeting. Tell them your concerns. They might agree completely with you and the other neighbors. They might feel
as if their hands are tied as well.
I wish you the best!
Then shell have to move or straighten up her life ....there are elderly care lines you can call but its not like her kids are hurting her maybe they CAN'T do anything just yet because she's still with it just enough ......
.
Make a case that she is a threat to herself and others - every single time. Every state has laws to have people involuntarily committed when they are a threat to themselves or others.
Praying that she gets the help she needs.
Don't contact public media.
We're talking about a vulnerable and helpless individual so she needs a doctor and not a reporter.
Even if you do call the news, you should have them keep you and the neighbor lady anonymous and have them cover this topic to provide education to the general public.
Call DHS or emergency services so the neighbor can be hospitalized.
The last time I was mad enough to go public with someone's name and face, I had been scammed out of thousands of dollars by someone sly and cunning and I had been told they were "nice."
I think demented people fall in a category where they have a right to privacy.
She should be responsible for all the damage to your homes so have that part of court action too - if necessary you might have to front the money yourself then put a lien on her place so that when it is sold you are re-imbursed & don't forget to add interest - you can charge to fix your items to level they were before the damage occurred but up-grades you pay yourself however if a wall needs painting after repairs then all the walls' paint will be included ... common sense but also document all of this too
I too had a bad neighbour but he was a few doors down - another neighbour & I sent him a letter that if he didn't stop his harassment then we would get a restraining order [because we had lots of documentation] but after it was in our hot little hands we would go next to the newspaper & place a notice in 'legal notice' section because he likes to think he is a pillar of the community - he sold his house & moved away - much joy & gratefulness here
Also, the keening is sporadic. 2-3 episodes a week.
We have worked with a lawyer. Next step is to talk to the daughter.
Ive been blessed with good neighbors but it really is luck of the draw.
My mom was very much bothered by noisy neighbors, and a white noise machine helped her get some sleep at night. It might help you in the meantime.