Stress and lack of sleep does some weird things. I'd like to hear of health problems that caregivers can develop.
Of course there's back issues that can arise from picking someone up off the floor, and weight gain from trying to get them to eat. But, I'm wondering about other less obvious things that the cumulative effects of stress and and lack of sleep can cause. I mention lack of sleep because I don't really allow myself too much deep sleep. I'm always aware of when my wife gets up and wanders through the house.
Last November I came down with Bell's Palsy. Reading Pubmed papers lists of possible causes, two things jumped out at me, shingles virus and lack of sleep. My wife had shingles a couple of months before that. Now 10 months later I'm still left with a couple of residual effects from it, about 90-95% recovered.
So I'm wondering what other maladies should I be aware of so I can watch for warning signs.
Oh, the Bell's Palsy warning sign was a strong pain right behind my ear for 2 days before the paralysis set in. BP is an inflammation of the 7th cranial nerve which exits the skull right behind the ear and comes up over the ear and runs to several places on your face.
Sorry, just read your profile and see that you do have caregivers coming in five times weekly. Perhaps you need someone to come in at night as well, so that you can get some restful sleep. I also think it’s vital that some of the free time you do have is spent on healthy activities for yourself, not just errands and appointments. I would go to the gym, have lunch with friends, etc(hopefully you are doing this already).
Chest pains , heart attacks , stroke , even cancer .. mental health problems , stomach ulcers etc .
Reducing the stress to prevent problems is better than waiting until they happen .,
If that doesn't scare you I don't know what will, and it only emphasizes the importance of caregivers taking good care of themselves.
Your profile says that your wife has vascular dementia, and as I'm sure you already know, that is the most aggressive of all the dementias with a life expectancy of just 5 years. It also sounds like you've taken good care of her thus far and even yourself, with getting help in from not only your daughter but others as well so you can get away, and I'm glad to hear that, as you matter too in this equation.
Your journey won't be as long as some others whose loved ones have Alzheimer's as that can go on for 20+ years, so hopefully you can continue to handle your stress best you can.
I know when I was caring for my late husband who also had vascular dementia, the thing that bothered and affected me most was the lack of sleep we both got while his incontinence was out of control and before he got his permanent catheter. He was a fall risk and was getting up every hour to pee, so I would have to go with him or get up to hold the urinal for him, as he only had use of one arm and that arm had essential tremors in it.
I was running on empty and at my wits end. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Plus I am a stress eater, so I did put on some weight during the last few years of my husbands life, but thankfully have since taken that off.
I did however understand the importance of trying best I could to take care of myself, and even if it just meant running to the grocery store to get away for a bit was extremely helpful. But of course I did lunch or supper with friends, went to church, or just sat outside on our patio.
The thing that helped me the most though(other than God)was my in person caregiver support group as there is NOTHING better than getting to share with others that know exactly what you're going through, and are there to give you a hug when you need one. My support group literally saved my life.
I wish you the very best as you travel this very difficult road with your wife.
That is to say you must not neglect yourself.
You need to eat right.
You need to get adequate rest and sleep.
You need to get exercise.
You need not to be in a constant state of stress.
ALL THESE THINGS contribute to your being more vulnerable.
You seem to be aware of this issue.
That isn't often enough; caregivers tend to put off self- caring. That is no guarantee that you wouldn't get sick if you were the wealthiest and most carefree person in the world; you might. It is just to say that we understand stressors as a danger. You seem to as well. And THAT is the good news.
Actually if you have a family history of any autoimmune diseases. Stress can bring them on. Like diabetes for one.
And burnout causes carelessness and recklessness. I fell caring a end table, I should of never been caring. I just didn't care.
I took a dive in the driveway last night while chasing deer out of my ‘sanity garden’. Honestly, that’s the only place I can go where I feel like I have any control. Even the wildlife around here is trying to ruin me!
oftentimes it forces us to make positive changes.
If we care for person with long progressive diseases like dementias we must make decisions which will include safety for both.
And no guilt.
I think guilt is the biggest stressor.
Word “guilty”should be removed from caregiving vocabulary. As we did not cause this or other disease. We cannot cure it.
Acceptance is paramount.
Often there is nothing absolutely nothing we can do to change anything.
-Depression and anxiety
-Weight gain/loss
-Digestive issues/stomach issues (like GURD and acid reflux)
-Heart disease and high blood pressure from the constant stress
-Weakened immune system
-Triggers auto-immune diseases
-Addiction (alcohol, drugs, abusing food, gambling, etc...)
-Reckless and dangerous behavior
I compared living with my mother and being her caregiver to being in a P.O.W. camp. It's psychological torture. A person can't live in a constant state of anxiety waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or be verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abused every day because it will destroy them. It also creates the perfect conditions for caregiver abuse.
In my situation I knew where it was going. I had to get out of it or the caregiving would have ended in tragedy for one or both of us.
No one should ever have a moment of guilt for needing to place a person and stop being a caregiver.
I’m still in pain but I’ve tried everything and thrown many hundreds of dollars at it with no relief. I’m learning to cope.
Physical symptoms - repetitive injuries - Back pain, foot pain, hand and wrist pain, elbow pain, neck pain....all of those things can sneak up on you. In our case - of the 4 of us that were taking care of my FIL - both my DH and BIL had back and spine problems that required surgery, my SIL had knee and foot pain and wrist/hand pain that required surgery and I have wrist/hand pain that requires surgery - all directly related to caregiving.
Stress can cause all kinds of physical symptoms as well.
migraines
body aches & pains
stress
problems sleeping
anxiety & depression
extreme fatigue
recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia
Diabetes, pre-diabetes - from all of the same factors.
They are two of the major illness in North America,
Try and get as close to 8 hours of sleep as you can. My mum, strong healthy woman, aged about 10 years in the 3 years she took care of my father. She is not the same person now. Never got a full night of sleep and that was the part she found the hardest.
My advice is sleep as much as you can (get door alarms, night sitters etc) and go for brief walks whenever you can, even if just 10 mins around the block. Both lower the effects of the stress and fend of the depression. Eat well and watch comedies. Think prevention as becoming sick when you are caregiving is a whole new nightmare.
My mother took care of my quadriplegic sister for 50 years now has severe Parkinson’s with dementia. I have serious health problems from caregiving my sister since I was 10, it does wear on you.
Look at this website:
https://psychcentral.com/stress/is-stress-the-number-one-killer#how-stress-affects-the-body
In part, it says:
While stress is a natural response to perceived danger, chronic stress can lead to physical and mental health complications and early death.
Stress is a natural response to new, challenging, or threatening situations. Experiencing stress is part of being alive, but it can become overwhelming, causing daily dysfunction and even leading to serious health complications.
Stress itself is not a problem, but it becomes a problem when it’s left to run rampant and starts holding you back from experiencing your full potential.
... stress may escalate into full-blown test anxiety and limit your ability to study, arrive on time, and finish the task.
Stress is a response that is supposed to peak and resolve. It is not supposed to go on endlessly (i.e., after the test, the feelings of test stress should resolve).
If your stress response continues after the fact, and if it goes unmanaged (i.e., becomes chronic), it can lead to mental and physical health problems, including anxiety and depression, heart disease, and even death.
How stress affects the body________________
Stress affects every part of the body, and this is why it’s felt physically and mentally.
According to the American Psychological Association, short-term stress affects all systems including:
Musculoskeletal (ie., muscle tightening and tension)
Respiratory (ie., rapid breathing or shallow breathing)
Cardiovascular(ie., heart race increase, blood pressure increase)
Endocrine, gastrointestinal, nervous, and reproductive: stress hormone release, flight or fight response kicks into gear.
These natural responses are designed to peak and drop. When they don’t, diseases can occur in relation to the overstimulation of the stress response.
The question is: What are you doing about taking care of yourself?
Gena / Touch Matters
One thing I recommend for everyone and helps me is grabbing simple joy moments whenever possible. Walking in the dog park. Music! A purring cat in my lap. Etc…
For women I recommend seeing a specialist in perimeno,/meno, getting full blood work, and working out solutions that work for you for hormone issues. Not cheap but I’ve been cobbling together what I can get from Kaiser and then the rest via a naturopath MD who I don’t have to see often. Omg total game changer! I put off dealing with this to ‘tough it out’ and ‘ I don’t have time, and am wishing I hadn’t, but I’m all over it now.
Those are the two things that have helped me the most.