This supposed skilled nursing facility is not helping my husband at all and he is becoming depressed and fading away because he is not used to just lying around taking meds he's never taken. He wants to come home but is not being paid attention to. He is completely competent and not incapacitated as they are trying to portray him to be, and he is angry that he did not assign his daughter as a surrogate. The hospital did it when he came in and now it's pretty much imprisoned him and we want him home so he can live a quality filled life.
"I want to care for my husband because I am capable and I love him and will be here with him until one of us leaves this earth and when he was hospitalized about a month ago I came home to rest and the triage nurse at the VA hospital tried to call me but she didn't have my updated number so somehow they contacted his estranged daughter of 33 years and named her as his surrogate for medical but he is not incompetent and knows what's going on and wants to come home and the VA says that there is nothing holding him there but this surrogacy assignment and they have him pretty much imprisoned and are demoralizing him as a man by having him in pullups instead of the brand new underwear that went with him that I bought a d they can't find and he is begging me to bring him home and I am it going to stand by and allow this skilled nursing facility to dehumanize him or condition him to think that he can't take care of his daily needs when he was doing just that before he went to the hospital and his daughter is just trying to throw him away and he has too much life left to live in spite of some white mass that these Drs are saying is dementia which I don't believe and because of this he is being held and not listened to and I want to know what to do to get him out of that place that is slowly taking his life. I want the responsibility of cooking for him and assisting him with whatever he needs or wants. I work from home so I am there a d I don't want this to kill him and it is."
You need to talk to the Social Worker at the VA facility. Please ask
1. Why is he in pullups
2. Can he appoint his own POA
3. Can he get home services through the VA.
Mare sure you understand the extent of his care needs before you bring him home. Spend at least 24, better 48 hours at the facility and make sure that you can manage his care physically and psychologically. Folks with dementia can become abusive and unreasonable, especially to those closest to them.
Also not sure what "not lowing a patient to be independent" means.
The hospital would not assign daughter as surrogate if he did not agree to that unless he was incapacitated when the assignment was made. If be is competent he can change that any time he wants.
Again we need more information.
Similar question asked.
As was stated by others, he is not being forced to stay there unless he wasn't competent at the time he was tended to, or, someone else is acting as his legal guardian because he NEEDS one for his own good. If he is fully competent AND able to carry out his ADLs, OR has adequate help back in his home, then he would be assessed as able to return. He would be able to sign himself out. But can he physically accomplish this? Who will get him into and out of the car and into his house? Who will help him once he's back home? Maybe he now needs more help than from just you? It would be dangerous for him to return if this is the case.
Does his daughter live locally so that she's able (and willing) to be his legal representative? If he is mentally competent he can create a DPoA anytime. He just needs to get the both of them to an elder care lawyer and pay for it.
More info and details from you would be helpful.