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My Mother, with newly diagnosed early onset Alzheimer’s, moved in with my wife and I as my father is no longer able to care for her due his recent stroke and being cared for by his son (from previous relationship) My mother became agitated and combative one night while with us, she was admitted to the hospital and transferred to Geri-Psych unit. The psych facility has said they will start her on meds to help with Alzheimer’s and may release her back to us in as soon as a few days. We are scrambling to find memory care and the social worker at the facility has been no help other than to say, they can’t keep her in the facility just because she doesn’t have placement. We have found potential memory care but the prices are of course astronomical. My mother only has social security for income, no pension, no LTC insurance, does not own a home… my father is about the same financially unfortunately. Medicaid would be the next step but I know they don’t cover all memory care expenses so I don’t even know if this is the right way to go either. We wanted to speak to Elder Law attorney but is the high price worth it if she really has no assets?
I know we aren’t able to care for her safely in our home but we need to figure out what to do before the facility decides to release her!
What are our options?

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Nursing home paid by LTC Medicaid. Don’t bother with an attorney, it is not worth it if mom has no money. Absolutely don’t pay out of your own pocket any money. Contact social services and get the Medicaid application going. The social worker at the hospital should be helping you with this as well, but it sounds like she is not being helpful. Sometimes they do this, they force the family to take custody of someone even though it’s in no one’s best interests. You may have to be forceful and fight back and insist mom needs NH care and you can’t safely take care of her at home. My half sister had to do this with her father in Florida. He has dementia, no assets, and she refused to care for him at home. He is in a nursing home now.
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Yes. You need a certified elder attorney experienced in Medicaid placement. Especially since your mom is married as this will affect your dad as well.
Memory care is normally private pay unless your state has a waiver program and even then there is a long wait list. The right attorney will know all about this. Your mom will have to qualify both medically and financially. The best way to get her in medically is to go straight to the NH from the hospital. The attorney will help you get the care your mom needs. Good luck.
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mstrbill Mar 16, 2024
This is assuming mom can afford the attorney, then it might be worth it. OP said mom has no assets. No assets, no attorney and no attorney needed. OP needs to fill out the state LTC Medicaid paperwork, tell social worker she needs a nursing home placement under Medicaid pending. If mom is not ready for NH yet, meaning she can perform most of her ADL's without assistance, it may be a longer fight, but I will tell you my sister was able to get her father with moderate dementia placed in a NH in FL.
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An Elder lawyer is needed to split marital assets. Her split will go to her care.

I would suggest you find a nice LTC that takes Medicaid then place your parents together. Their combined monthly income will go towards their care with Medicaid paying their share.
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