I gave up my home and friends etc. to move into the home of my elderly father, at his request, last January, after the tragic death of my Mother. I take care of him, along with a few Hospital Home Nurses, a few hours a week. I am his only Child in town. The rest of his children (Four others) live all over the country. When my father asked me to move in with him, I moved, with my sweet kitty cat, the very same day! That is what makes this question so painful and difficult for me. Almost from the start, my father has, consistently, treated me, inhumanely, constantly, demeaning me, hurling obscenities at me all day long, and, with an explosive temper, sadly, psychologically and verbally abusing me, in such a derogatory fashion, and with such ferocity, and consistency, that I fear I cannot repeat the words here! I don't know where this is coming from? and I don't care to analyze him. I want to protect myself!! at all costs. What will Adult Protective Services do if I report my dad's abuse? Can those with experience, perhaps, share their ideas with me, about this agency? I so appreciate any help! I am really in trouble in this scenario, I feel. Thanks to all.
I think you already suspect that your father has dementia. What you need is an assessment of his mental state. Go back to his doctor and ask for help.
APS would be the right people to contact if you had to leave and your father was unable to look after himself, or if at any time you fear being provoked into treating him wrongly. But it doesn't sound as if that is happening, or likely to.
Your Area Agency on Aging might also be a good place to look for advice and support. You can find their contact details online.
But, honestly, the only person who can really protect you is you. It's no good gathering all the information in the world if you're not going to do anything with it.
Are you in touch with your siblings at all? Do they have any opinion to offer, any view on how your father should be cared for?
I think you should call our Office of Aging. Tell them the situation and that you can no longer live this way and want to move back to ur previous home. If your Dad should get violent, call the police. They can remove him and have him evaluated. The elderly can be stronger than you think.
What do his other caregivers say. Do they hear wat he says to you?
Thanks to "Countrymouse" who remembers me from July, here. Right, I tried to have my Dad medically evaluated, by His long-time Physician, but my Brother put a Stop to it! so that tells you what I am up against (very hostile, and toxic Siblings, 4 out of 5). I am sorry to be so negative; I, actually, had the most amazing upbringing, no problems with anyone, Best Friends with my beloved Mother until her dying day. This is so very hard to deal with- as everyone says "not the Dad I knew", and, Yes, "Joan29", unfortunately, I was seeing some of this ugliness, from my Father, come out toward my Mother. But, then there are so many "Layers", because, just a year, or so ago, my *FATHER took Beautiful care of my ailing Mom 24/7. And the Irony of this whole situation is that I am a "Disabled" Gal trying to help my Dad, but maybe (I cannot believe I am saying this) the best "help" would be, for me to leave, at this time.
You need to stop letting these people control and abuse you. You also need a plan of escape. Do you have any funds at all? Is there a friend you can stay with until you find employment and have enough money to get a place of your own? You are in an impossible situation that cannot be fixed. At some point, God forbid, you could be seriously hurt or worse by your father. How much longer will you tolerate this abuse? And please keep your kitty far away from him.