My mother has middle stage Alzheimer's. When will I know my mother can no longer drive?

It's pretty typical that people stop driving once they've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It can be a battle, getting the keys away, but it's a fight worth fighting. You wouldn't want your mom to become disoriented while driving or misjudge a situation on the road to realize that it's time for her to stop driving. Don't wait for something to happen, try to prevent something from happening.

If your mom is mid stage now, it is time for her to stop driving. If she is driving and finding her way home she must be fairly early stage. My mom quit driving after she got lost coming home about ten years ago. She had lived in her house for forty years at that point.

You are right in that I see somewhat of a battle ahead of me. Mom has always been a very independent woman and gone places by herself all over the area. She said she would let me know if she felt she couldn't drive or might get lost but I know she possibly wouldn't know that until she was already lost. We have a tracker to put on her car which will help for now. She only goes out in the car to church on Sunday's and maybe nail or hair salon. Still, I question her abilities to her every time she goes somewhere and she will say she did good. Her neurologist told me the best way to know for sure is to allow mom to drive and me be the passenger. Makes sense.

Gagall, check your state's laws. She may need to have a driver evaluation done or even a road test. The MD is right, let her drive and you be a silent passenger. If it's a scary experience, she should stop driving.

Geeze don;t let her take you for drive in traffic Gagall! This was a wake up call for my Mom,, and she kept doing it until Dad "merged" into a semi. Luckily no one was hurt except for the (previously) sweet ride... Dad thought he was fine.. mom swore it wasn;t his fault.. UH the police and insurance company disagreed!

Allowing your mom to report how she drives is risky. Her condition impairs her judgment. She is not the one in a position to make that decision. And even if she drives okay with you in the car, it could be very different the next day. She could get her gas and brake confused and cause a crash. I would be very concerned that someone with mid stage was continuing to operate a car. What does her insurance company say about it?

My neighbors wife has Alzheimer's and she went to a facility that her insurance covered and took a battery of tests for all sorts of things. One of them was driving. Well, she flunked! She was so determined to drive but her husband had the doctor write out a prescription saying she could no longer drive. The car had to be completely removed so it would not be a reminder. I think having these evaluations every so often is an excellent gauge for caregivers.

The worst risk is not about getting lost. She will eventually wind up home in that case. The worst risk is that she couldn't react quickly enough in an emergency, that her memory failure would be about how to use the brake, that she would merge into a semi. I think that persons with dementia should be allowed some latitude in deciding what risks to accept BUT NOT when their decisions put others at risk.

When should she stop driving? Now.

I agree with Jeanne.. Don't wait for a tragedy to happen..

I think each case is different. We all need to do as much as we can, as soon as we can to get elders off the road but there has to be evidence to support the case. Getting lost, scratches dents, a letter from the doc etc.

In some cases caregivers are able to reason with elders and end the driving but usually it's a battle. And you have to arrange for other means of transportation. The end of driving can be the end of independence for people. This is a huge deal for elders.

My Dad has mild moving to moderate dementia. He still,drives to the grocery store and to doctor appointments but that's about it. He's had no wrecks, dings, scratches and hasn't gotten lost yet but I track him with GPS and I'm beginning to see signs of what may be wandering. It's hard to tell. He may also just be taking "Sunday" drives sometimes.

I tried to disable the car back in December under the ruse that it wouldn't start and had to be towed to the garage. It was a disaster. He obsessed about it and kept trying to fix it. He's still capable of some garage stuff. I ended up putting the starter relay back in and telling dad I had found a bad fuse and fixed it. I live out of state and my mother would never have been able to keep the plan going.

In my case it was too early. I worry all the time and check my GPS several times a day but I need evidence to prosecute the case.

You have been given some very good advice. However I want you to think about this...

What if she kills someone.

Think about that for a while. What if she takes an innocent person's life (not even thinking about getting lost, having a minor accident, hurting herself, etc). What if someone dies...could you live with that guilt? Knowing that you should have taken her off the road? Knowing that her judgement is not good and she really shouldn't be judging whether she drives or not?

If a doctor says her Alzheimers is mid stage, it's time to stop driving. Either take the keys, disable the car, or report her to the DMV for a test, which she will not pass as in a test they put the person in unfamiliar situations.

Angel

For those that think driving locally only makes it alright to continue ..think again. Statistics prove most accidents happen within 25 miles of home. A man in our church, who had dementia, drove to his volleyball game, got lost and ended up 200 miles from home. There was Silver Alert out for him. The only reason he was found, was the Denton, Tx. Police found him driving the wrong way on a one way street. He drove from Oklahoma City all the way to the Dallas area!! So no, they don't always eventually get home when they are lost. When I first read your question, I was saying OMG! You must end her driving. It may not be easy, but to hell with her independence...she's as dangerous as driving under the influence. Would you let that happen? Mi think children don't want to confront parents as it's difficult, but let the doctor be the "meanie". Please take all these suggestions to heart. I was lucky that my dad KNEW he needed to stop. There is a national organization that can drive elders around. I forget the name, but check into that. Call your Alzheimer's Assoc. for help.

I went through this with my sister- she had a notice in the mail that she could no longer drive & could not renew her licence.That did not stop her.To Her she had her licence in her wallet & she could still drive.She would drive down the middle of the highway--it was when she put her an in the ditch & she scared herself .
We ended up convincing her to sell her van.
The best way looking back at the situation is to disconnect the battery .
Most women never look under the hood to see what is wrong.

Given a diagnosis of dementia is a sign driving a car is putting both the patient and other drivers at risk. Do you really want to subject your mother and others to the possibility of an accident and/or death of both. Sell the car, or store it, and take the keys away. No question about it, and you keep driving her.

Angelkw has hit it right on the head! You have to ask the hard question...ask your mom too. Chances are (with mid stage Alz. she won't be able to follow your reasoning tho) I'm a little more brutally honest than most people so when my mom was diagnosed, I flat out told her she no longer had the choice and took the keys from her. Of course this was after she had gotten lost. Had a statewide alert out for her (she was missing for several hours). Come to find out she was parked in a parking lot waiting for me to find her. Parked right next to probably the last pay phone in the state! That was the last straw for me. Told her I was not going to wait until she killed someone before she woke up to the fact that she wasn't safe to drive. Take the keys NOW & sleep better tonight!

She needs to stop driving immediately. Don't let an accident determine when she needs to quit driving. A diagnosis of Alzheimer's is more than enough to determine that she needs to quit before she hurts herself or other people, like my father-in-law did! Then, he was still determined to keep driving after that! We had to hide the keys.

You can't reason with them, their brains are deteriorating. An accident, or getting 'lost' or mistaking the brake for the gas pedal - none of that will matter, because they not only not 'learn', they don't even remember. If they lose their licenses it doesn't matter, they will still get in the car and try to drive. Do you get the idea? Driving with Alzheimers means NO DRIVING with Alzheimers. It will get worse and WORSE. Oh, you think 'mom just drives within a few blocks of home, she never gets on the highway'. Yes, and tomorrow mom will end up 100 miles away or mixing up day and night and driving to the store, to church, to the hairdressers, every night for weeks. Or plowing into a building, or another car, a school bus, driving down the wrong way of a one way street. Your mom's driving days are done. Take the keys and most important, move the car. Some of them are bright enough to have someone come with new keys or start up a 'disabled' car. Move the car. Let her scream and wail, pretty soon she'll forget. Arrange for someone to take her places (or you take her places) - those places will be fewer and fewer as time goes on, she will set off in the car, forget where she was supposed to be going. And get lost. Take the keys, move the car out of sight. Driving days are over.

Gagalluvsmom, I just went through this with my dad & my mom refused to accept the neurologist telling us that he is too dangerous to drive. Mom encouraged him to drive even. In Oklahoma it is very hard to force them to stop & VA doctors here are not allowed to request their license to be revoked. The only thing I could do & did do was I went to the center where drivers tests are given & requested a form to take to his doctor to fill out. I took the form & wrote the doctor a note explaining the situation & told that he had had one wreck plus had backed into things twice (doing damage) & requested her to please consider requesting on this form that he be required to take his driving tests again. Luckily she did that & dad had to come for the testing be last day of February & if he didn't show up by then his license would be revoked. Mom didn't want to go until after then, so when he went in it was too late & his license had been revoked. Thank God. Mom was angry about it, but he doesn't act like it bothers him at all. He has never even mentioned it or tried to drive anywhere. I think maybe he knew & may even be relieved that mom can't make him be driving all the time. So if nothing else you might consider trying this. It took about 10 weeks to get this done, but your might not take that long. I had to do it where my parents would not know I had requested it. They assume it was just the doctor, because several people told them that doctors have to report it if they believe the person is unsafe. Good luck. I know what it's like worrying that your loved one could possibly kill or maim themselves or other innocent people.

Please remember - everyone is different. My husband was slow to progress and had good visual-spatial skills, good judgement and quick reflexes. I, my son and my mother rode with him often. We all felt very safe. When he became directionally challenged, we always rode with him. Finally, he began to be uncomfortable on longer drives because of his arthritis. It became clear that his discomfort was distracting him from his driving. I was lucky. He accepted that it was time to stop driving. But everyone is different. Although a diagnosis of Alzheimer's is a liability in regards to driving, it is not a reason alone to take the keys away. My husband was tested by a local hospital occupational therapy program. Their assessment was helpful and they recommended retesting every 6 months.

My girlfriend's husband kept finding the keys (no matter how hard she tried to hide them) and driving. Fortunately she had enough money to get rid of the car, get another one that looked totally different. She put the keys on a totally different kind of key ring. He didn't recognize either so he stopped driving. because he couldn't find the car.

Your question is "when will I know my mother can no longer drive?". When I was facing this with my mother-in-law about 15 years ago, a friend asked me "would you let your children ride in the car with her?". Since I absolutely would not, that was my answer. Time to get rid of the car.

akdaughter, that is an excellent answer!

Oh we had quite the ordeal with our poor mom. To an older person, the idea of giving up driving means losing one's independent transportation, and then, becoming dependent on either kids or the State, that is, the dreaded Senior Van, with all the stigma attached. It's one more step toward not only losing one's home, but being "put away." This could mean "locked up," or "Institutionalized." How different are these things? These days, many nursing homes are indeed locked facilities "for your own good." In parens patrie. What happens when our own families are suddenly our enemies, folks we fear? What happens when any slip, any appearance that we are "forgetting" becomes that one tipping point that puts us away? This won't be a vacation. It's for the remainder of our days. Losing driving is one step toward that imprisonment.

I'm not saying all nursing homes are bad places, but many older people feel fearful and threatened, and these fears can be so exaggerated that this can get them on the defensive each time any hint or challenge to their competency or independence. My mom could be so stubborn about her driving, even when it was obvious she needed to stop.

We tried so many tactics. She had gotten so short...This by heredity...I myself cannot see over the dashboard at my full height, and she was several inches shorter. I told her how fabulous the buses were. Maybe she would like to save the environment? Weren't cars expensive? When she finally crashed hers beyond repair, we figured she'd stop. Then, she started renting. Oh no! That's when I called the registry and they suggested writing snail mail letters to them. I believe all of us kids individually wrote letters, which were ignored.

Ten years later, she crashed one more time. Finally, there were witnesses, and her license was pulled, for good. The cops drove her home and left her there without her license. We were all very lucky she didn't kill anyone. I heard she paid a rather extensive dollar amount for the property damages to the other car.

Simply-NOW

The neuro psychologist who diagnosed my Mom's Alzheimer's, explained that the real danger in allowing anyone with any dementia to keep driving is that the reflexes lose their ability to be fast enough, because the brain doesn't send the signals fast enough to the eyes, and body. She also explained, that later in the dementias, a person's peripheral vision starts to go away....again due to how the brain does not function well....so the person does not notice what is going on on either side of them, while driving or even moving around on their feet. They tend to, as time goes on, to get tunnel vision that is more and more narrow....which explains why, with someone that has the disease really seriously bad, they do not respond to you, unless you are standing right in front of them. They simply do not sense that you are sitting or standing beside them....and they tune you out as you are speaking because they do not notice you with their eyes.. Now if you put those things all together..... poor reflexes, losing peripheral vision and getting more of a tunnel vision to the point where you even tune out sounds off to the sides of you.....does that sound like someone you would want driving down the road beside you? Or driving through your subdivision where your kids may be playing out in the front yard? Yes....it's probably easier for them to drive only within a few blocks of home...going to the local grocery or the bank....but, even so.....with those conditions getting worse, will they hear or notice the sirens of a police car, ambulance, fire truck? Or see out of their side vision...the kid's ball rolling into the street or the dog or cat that is coming into their path? And when they DO notice these things....will their reflexes allow them to react with the proper timing to be safe, even on their very own street? Then you get into the lack of executive functioning ...that comes with any of these dementias.....and will they be able to do the necessary assessment about how fast an approaching car or bike rider is coming, when they need to cross over another street? Or be like my Mom, at the end of her driving...who pulled her like new 2011 Chrysler 300 into her carport space, but was not centered properly, so hooked the back bumper on the support beam, and ripped off her bumper..... never felt it or heard it, until it was dragging on the ground.....and upon discovering it, insisted that the bumper 'fell off' by itself, because the rubber supports got rotten cause she lived in the desert heat of Tucson, Arizona!! She even insisted that both the male next door neighbor and the towing guy who came to get the vehicle agreed with her about the rotting rubber!! And then, when I was trying to talk to State Farm about coverage, my dear sweet mother insisted that I should tell the agent that the car had a 'bumper to bumper warranty' on it, and therefore fixing the bumper would be covered!!!!????!!!! THAT is all clearly showing a lack of executive functioning ability.... So, in her case, the neuro psych doc told her no more driving....but she's still mad about it, because she 'only did bad on that test because I never was good at taking tests all through school...." In Arizona, there are driving schools that cost about $500, and it's a 4 hour evaluation, but they will evaluate everything....starting with driving in the neighborhood....and advancing to driving out on the freeways....and make an assessment about abilities. They can actually then limit someone to driving within two miles of home, or within city limits, but no highways or freeways etc....and they send their report to the Motor Vehicle Dept. If they recommend no driving, then the person must turn in their license. If they are 'limited' and a policeman finds them outside the area, their license is revoked. My Mom thinks she can still drive because her license says it doesn't expire until 2018 and she thinks that proves that MVD thinks she's ok to drive. Her last renewal was in 2012! I fail to understand why the length of the license gets longer and longer, the older a person gets, myself. Seems like a new driver and an elderly driver, should have very short time frames between renewal, and that a written and driving test should be given as well. I had a neighbor here, who was elderly, and was still driving, until a cop pulled her over, and it became obvious that she had driven a whole 5 miles down our main drag in the left turn lane! She had no idea why so many people were beeping their horns at her. But she blamed it all on the cop who stopped her.....