Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Please arrange safe care of your wife by others ASAP, so you can find help for yourself.
Please call a crises line or your local Doctor to ask about emergency respite care for your wife & emergency mental health support for yourself. Today.
988 is the suicide hot line number. You say you don't agree with suicide, Tom as it is "self-murder". So I am assuming you have no suicidal ideation. You say you would like to stop living. That is not, of course, in our own control unless we stop eating and drinking. Many have done this, but it is quite an unpleasant way to go toward the end when organ shutdown causes mental breakdown. You need to seek counseling so that you can be helped, or see your MD for medications for depression. You may need to stop doing 24/7 caregiving if it is now too much for you. I am sorry you are going through pain. My father felt much as you do. He was in his early 90s, and had had a wonderful loving life, but he was exhausted with it. Not ill, simply tired of it. Said he would stay napping forever if he could. It was just his wish to be allowed to die, but his body kept plugging on. He was able to talk about it and really it had nothing to do with illness, depression or anything else. The young don't understand it, but many many elders are just over it and wish to go. As a nurse patients expressed this to me so often, and said that their families simply would not allow them to speak about what was in their hearts, so they told me, their nurse. I, myself, at 80 now, am more than READY to go. I don't WISH to go, but I surely wouldn't be kicking about it. I fear pain and helplessness, but death, not whatsoever.
Go to your google or other search engine. Type in the name of your state and "right to die laws". There are currently I think 21 states that have these laws. However, the person requesting must always have fewer than 6 months left to live per their physician(s). And they must be able to self administer the medications. What you are basically saying in the note you write us is that you are seeking end of life medications for someone ELSE. That doesn't work! Only a patient him or herself can request permission for final exit and must be able to self administer the drugs. If you can no longer do this care, and certainly at 81 I cannot imagine that you can, it is time for placement, and for you to make loving visits to your wife. I am sorry for the agony of you both, but what you are suggesting is "murder" when written as you have done.
Who are you wanting to kill, yourself or your wife? If you are overwhelmed with your wife's care then it's time to have her placed in the appropriate facility where others will take over her 24/7 care and you can get back to just being her loving husband and advocate. Have you looked into bringing hospice on board for your wife? Even once she's placed they will have a nurse come once a week to start, aides to come bathe her at least twice a week, supply any and all needed equipment, supplies and medications, all covered 100% under your wife's Medicare. You need help and I hope and pray that you will reach out to all available senior resources in your area and hospice to get it. God bless you.
Are you talking about Hospice? For them you just call an agency and have them evaluate wife and if ur wife fits the criteria they will admit her. But, if done in the home you have most of the care.
You can place her in Long-term care. If you have no assets, other than your home and car, you maybe able to get Medicaid for her. You then become a community spouse, staying in your home, having a car and enough or all of your monthly income to live on.
If you have assets, Medicaid allows you to split them. Wifes split goes for her care in LTC and just before its gone, you apply for Medicaid. You will need an Elder Lawyer to help you here.
Tombatom, please reach out to the Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255, and ask for help. I'm sure your wife does not want to lose you to suicide. There is help out there, but you're going to have to ask for it. I'm praying that you will do just that. May God bless you and keep you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Please call a crises line or your local Doctor to ask about emergency respite care for your wife & emergency mental health support for yourself. Today.
You say you don't agree with suicide, Tom as it is "self-murder". So I am assuming you have no suicidal ideation. You say you would like to stop living. That is not, of course, in our own control unless we stop eating and drinking. Many have done this, but it is quite an unpleasant way to go toward the end when organ shutdown causes mental breakdown.
You need to seek counseling so that you can be helped, or see your MD for medications for depression. You may need to stop doing 24/7 caregiving if it is now too much for you.
I am sorry you are going through pain.
My father felt much as you do. He was in his early 90s, and had had a wonderful loving life, but he was exhausted with it. Not ill, simply tired of it. Said he would stay napping forever if he could. It was just his wish to be allowed to die, but his body kept plugging on. He was able to talk about it and really it had nothing to do with illness, depression or anything else. The young don't understand it, but many many elders are just over it and wish to go. As a nurse patients expressed this to me so often, and said that their families simply would not allow them to speak about what was in their hearts, so they told me, their nurse.
I, myself, at 80 now, am more than READY to go. I don't WISH to go, but I surely wouldn't be kicking about it. I fear pain and helplessness, but death, not whatsoever.
What you are basically saying in the note you write us is that you are seeking end of life medications for someone ELSE. That doesn't work! Only a patient him or herself can request permission for final exit and must be able to self administer the drugs.
If you can no longer do this care, and certainly at 81 I cannot imagine that you can, it is time for placement, and for you to make loving visits to your wife.
I am sorry for the agony of you both, but what you are suggesting is "murder" when written as you have done.
Have you looked into bringing hospice on board for your wife? Even once she's placed they will have a nurse come once a week to start, aides to come bathe her at least twice a week, supply any and all needed equipment, supplies and medications, all covered 100% under your wife's Medicare.
You need help and I hope and pray that you will reach out to all available senior resources in your area and hospice to get it.
God bless you.
You can place her in Long-term care. If you have no assets, other than your home and car, you maybe able to get Medicaid for her. You then become a community spouse, staying in your home, having a car and enough or all of your monthly income to live on.
If you have assets, Medicaid allows you to split them. Wifes split goes for her care in LTC and just before its gone, you apply for Medicaid. You will need an Elder Lawyer to help you here.
There is help out there, but you're going to have to ask for it.
I'm praying that you will do just that.
May God bless you and keep you.