How do I start moving forward now that caregiving is over? What would be a first Good Start to moving forward with only myself to care for?
Mama passed away. I told you that already. What now? So many things NEED to be done. BUT, I want to and I plan to take BETTER care of myself. Where do I start?
I dug my sewing machine out of the back of storage. It is TOTALLY messed up . . . dusty, dirty, filthy, etc! Now what? I used to LOVE sewing passionately!
How do I start moving toward a new life/better life now that caregiving is over?
What would you do first? How would you approach this new journey now that caregiving is over and done with?
Bought a new sewing machine (had given the old one to my daughter), bought myself a new instrument (something I've played for years), got myself a trainer (I work out with her 1x week for an hour) and got myself a therapist.
Decide what you want to work on first and take some baby steps this week.
Report back!! We care.
I know that after my husband died who I cared for for many years, I literally found myself wandering around my house for months after, wondering what it was that I should be doing, as my days had been so full of caring for him.
Slowly over time, I started to do things that I enjoyed, like going to church, spending time with friends and family, and taking care of myself. But that didn't happen overnight. It took a while, and I'm sure it's different for everyone.
My husband will be dead a year in a few weeks, and I am finally feeling that I can move forward with my life, and am looking forward to seeing what the Good Lord has in store for me next.
So have patience my dear, and just start with some simple things that bring you joy.
So I WILL have patience and just start with some simple things that bring me joy. I went to Burger King today and bought my favorite Whopper Package, brought it home and enjoyed leisurely eating it in peace and quiet.
Well done!
I offer sincere Condolences and Prayers to you and your family for the loss of your mother.
These are two biggies for me since I'd postponed, re-scheduled, or completely did not do sometimes while caregiving for Mama.
I needed to "do that for myself" and, I DID! That is a big step forward for me. I'm truly thankful to be able to do something for myself for a change.
When you get home, you will thus have A Plan and a couple of weeks before it starts. So you next sit down with a nice cup of coffee and some coloured pencils and a big clean piece of paper and you do a Mind Map.
It is also perfectly okay to have days when you drag yourself around the house and accomplish nothing. Do not worry unless that starts to be every day.
Thank you for this helpful answer, it means a lot to me. I am especially grateful for your thoughtfulness.
Hearing that it is "perfectly okay to have days when I drag myself around the house and accomplish nothing", made me smile. THAT is perfectly do-able for me!
Thank you for sharing these helpful ideas with me. I really appreciate your tips.
a S L O W process. SO today, I'm not beating myself up because I haven't accomplished a lot since Mama died. Yes, I'm still tired/exhausted but, I'm not feeling . . . "SUCKED-DRY" anymore. Just regular-old-tired.
Question: Did I accomplish ANYTHING like moving forward?
I did. I went to the eye doctor, got my much need eye exam, and a prescription for new eyeglasses. They got my glasses done and, I picked them up yesterday. Yaaa, I can see clearly now!
Enough of that! I just wanted to let you know how I'm doing with the
"Where do I go from here" . . .
We wanted to move out of state when we retired, and we promised my folks we wouldn't be going anywhere until they didn't need me any longer. Dad died in 2018, Hubby retired in 2020, Mom died July 26 this year, and Hubby asked me TWO DAYS AFTER that, "When can we move?"
I have to settle an estate, clean out and sell another house, and my son is getting married next spring. Now I have to go house hunting and clear out my house in preparation to move, too??
Plus, once this is all past, what do I do then? I can't even imagine. I do know from prior experience with Dad's passing that Mom's death probably won't hit me for about six months. I need to schedule that in somewhere, too. 😵
Sorry for the hijack. I have no answers for you. My life has been caring for children and/or elderly parents since 1993. The former grew up, and the latter have died, so I'm officially unemployed in my life's work.
Thank you all for the great answers and suggestions. Thanks to you, I DID get started . . .
S L O W L Y . . .as suggested. I did accomplish a few things. And, guess what?
I will spend a couple of days with my daughter and only grandson next week doing "something different", other than slouching around the house wondering what to do next. ((:
She also made us a beauty shop appointment, so we will spend the day getting our hair done. Yaaayyy!
Happy Saturday night everyone, enjoy yourselves!
It’s been a while since I posted here, but I thought I should report back and let everyone know how I am doing with moving forward. You all provided such good advice, suggestions, and ideas I want to “Thank You”!
Thanks to all of you, I’ve done some things to get back to a normal life (sorta normal), and it feels good. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a LOT, but it's a start and it feels like a big rock has been lifted off my shoulders.
What have I done to move forward. . . you ask? Keeping it brief and to the point, I’ve kept doctors’ appointments, got my hair done, started eating better, and completing insurance paperwork.
Best of all, I visited with my daughter, SIL, and only grandson the last week of September, for 3 days and 3 nights without “clock-watching” and needing to leave. That visit was FUN, relaxing, and so refreshing, I’m eagerly looking forward to next time. We discussed and decided that I will visit at least once a month (for starters).
Ok, enough for now, this is getting too long.
Thank You AgingCare Friends for your caring, sharing, and support!
Another "moving forward" thing I did lately was to get back to creating and designing products to add to my Collections @ Zazzle. On 9/9/2021, I created and designed "Thank You Sympathy Cards" for friends and family. After that, I created and designed a couple of "Tote Bags" and a couple of other products. Before that, I had not created anything since December of 2020.
My products are in Zazzle's market place, Yaaaa! I'm known as
dellgirl08 @ Zazzle.
It feels sooo good to be creating again. Thanks to you all, I'm moving along . . .
S L O W L Y. Thank you for the motivation and encouragement!