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Mom doesn’t make good mental decisions and has a broken hip. She needs to go in nursing home. Can my dad have the final say?

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I'm not sure what you're really saying here........? Does dad have POA for mom? If so, and she needs to be placed in a Skilled Nursing Facility for long term care or for rehab purposes, and she has diagnosed dementia, then yes, dad can have her placed there against her will. I'm not sure if your mom should be going into this nursing home for rehab purposes short term, or if you mean that she should go there permanently? In either event, if dad has POA, then yes, he can arrange for her to go there for long or short term care. If mom has dementia though, she may not do too well in rehab b/c she has to be able to follow instructions and do physical therapy and occupational therapy every day, and make progress too, otherwise Medicare won't pay for her stay. So there's a lot of moving parts to consider. An elder has to be cognizant enough to participate in their rehab care and do the 'homework' exercises assigned to them in order to make enough improvements to be released to go back home. She has to be agreeable to the whole process, in other words, or she'll be non compliant and nothing will get accomplished during her rehab stay.

Per your profile:
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Retired FF EMT family member. mother lives with 87 yo father and brother who also lives at home who had a stroke 4 yrs ago mother currently non ambulatory demita broken hip in hosp refusing care with pt and occ therpy 

So mom is 'refusing PT and OT'........and is non ambulatory to boot. So what makes you think rehab will help her?? She can refuse to participate in PT & OT once dad gets her in there. And if she's non ambulatory to begin with, IDK that they'd be able to work with her to GET her ambulatory again. The key lies with her and her willingness to get mobile again, you know? Dementia throws a monkey wrench into the whole thing, too. Unless you are speaking about placing mom there permanently............that's a horse of another color.


Good luck.
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Yeah, sort of..

A person can make desicions for themselves - unless deemed incompetent by medical or legal reasons.

But.

If Mom needs fulltime care & Dad can't provide this at home - then yes, she would need to move into a Care Facility (ie NH or similar).
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Has she been declared incompetent? If not, maybe she can get evaluated ASAP? Talk to staff wherever she is. If dad is not up for the challenge of caring for her he needs to tell the hospital that he can NOT care for her at home. It would likely be quite unsafe for both of them. So I'd say that he can have the final say - as in NO I can not care for her at home. She needs to ambulatory etc.

If she's with it enough, he can tell her that she needs to go to rehab before he can consider bringing her home. She needs to be able to walk into the house. And from her bed to the bathroom. etc etc.

Good luck.
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